37 Weeks- Clear for take off

I have hit the mark that all doctors want you to hit.  I got a high five from my perinatologist, on Tuesday, for it.  37 weeks.  We are at the point where they quit talking about keeping the baby in there and start talking about when the baby comes out.  It is a very surreal moment, I must say.  We made it.

The good news is, the baby is still growing, although still on the small side, he said it is nothing to worry about.  We will not have to make another trip back  to the perinatologist and he will talk things over with my OB, who I see on Friday.  His main thing is that he does not want me to go beyond my due date, which I am completely fine with, and my OB will discuss a game plan with me at the next appointment.  And with that we were out the door and it suddenly felt like our time with him flew by.

It is October.  The month we were married.  The month we met.  The month we will welcome our baby.  The month everything always happens in my life.  Where would I be in life without all my Octobers?

My family has gotten to this point, where if I don’t answer my phone, they assume I’m in labor.  People are starting to make the “Aren’t you about done!?” comments.  I’m finishing up my last week, and longest week ever, of work.   I’m just over all of this pregnancy stuff and ready to move on to the next phase of this.  I can say, I will forever give a 9 month pregnant person all the space and forgiveness in the world because the struggle is real my friends and I officially want my body back.  What I’m saying is Dear baby, you are clear for take off and we are ready for you.




Things I Am Looking Forward to Post-Pregnancy


With the end in sight to this pregnancy, there are several things I am starting to look forward to, aside from having my baby here (obviously).

  • Alcohol.  All the wine and rum.  While I have had a few small glasses of wine here and there, I’m ready for a big fat glass or three of wine.  Especially when we are out to eat.  I just miss wine with my food or having a glass while sitting outside with my husband when he smokes cigars.
  • Sleeping on my stomach.  I have adapted to side sleeping but I’m ready to flop on my stomach.
  • Sex.  Eventually the brakes were hit on our sex life during this pregnancy. I was completely unsure, going into pregnancy, how we would handle our sex life because everyone has told me different stories.  We miss sex, is really all there is to say on that.
  • Not being a target.  I want my boundary lines back.  I don’t want the stares from people, the hands touching, the questions, the comments.  I just want to be another person walking around Target.
  • Having a normal conversation.  The bump is a go-to conversation when out with friends but there is still more to me.  I have other things going on in my life, contrary to what I tell you on this blog and I’m cool not talking about my baby.
  • Being able to keep up.  Whether you like it or not you hit this wall where you just cannot keep up with your friends.  You look ridiculous, at 8 months pregnant, joining their after dinner happy hour at the bar.  I’m not jumping on a boat right now or going out for any girls night because I’m too busy thinking about my blood pressure.  I’m ready for a care free night out.
  • Being able to book a trip.  We have been holding off booking a trip to an island until the baby comes.  Because, responsible parenting.  I’m ready to have that trip lined up and begin the countdown to that.
  • Work outs.  At 34 weeks pregnant I had to say good-bye to my classes at the gym.  Due to swelling, blood pressure and a few other things I had to get real about staying safe and just doing workouts at home.  It is mentally one of the hardest things so far.  I’m already missing it and ready to get back to normal workouts.
  • Being able to get in my bed.  It is tall, I am pregnant.  I look like a high centered rhino getting into bed some nights.
  • Being able to get out of bed.  I can still kinda use my abs to roll myself over but it takes more work everyday.  This maneuver is what we call a turtle on its back.
  • The ability to put on my shoes, towel dry off, put on lotion, shave my legs, switch the laundry, and a million other things that are so damn tough right now.
  • My vagina.  I haven’t seen it in a few weeks and I’m sure I won’t want to see it for a few weeks after but hey, I look forward to seeing it again one day.
  • Wearing my wedding ring again.  That came off two weeks ago.
  • Regular clothes.  I see them all there in the closet, staring at me.  I want to be rid of all maternity clothes or regular clothes I have stretched out:)  Same goes for shoes.  I just live in my flip-flops instead because, fat feet.
  • Sushi.  Just kidding, I don’t eat sushi.
  • Knowing the unknown.  We are in that territory where I wonder constantly about when the baby will come, how, etc.    I’m ready to have that part done and over with so it just becomes part of the story and not a maybe.

What are you most looking forward to after your baby is born?

36 Weeks Pregnant- Preparing the Furbaby

We are those annoying dog people.  The people who treat their dog like a human, like a child.  A spoiled rotten child. Our two-year old black lab, Fenway, has been our baby for the past two years and she damn well knows it.  Many people have expressed their concern over us preparing her for the baby’s arrival.  I can actually say we aren’t overly worried about it but have done a few extra things to prepare her.

I believe the main thing that has prepared Fenway is the fact that my good friend had her baby at 31 weeks a year ago and the dog has been around her constantly.  That preemie baby spent more than enough time last winter chilling on our couch with our dog right next to her.  Now the baby is on the move on the floor, when she visits, and Fenway (reluctantly) shares her toys with her.  Every Tuesday evening we go for a walk, baby in stroller, dog on leash right next to stroller, stopping to let us know when a toy has been thrown overboard.  These two are buddies and while our dog hasn’t always been a fan of us paying attention to the baby, she certainly knows the smell of one.

To let her know that things will permanently change in our own house soon we have prepared her in a few more ways.

  • We have let her smell the baby clothes and blankets as we have washed and put them away.
  • We have also let her smell the wipes, diapers and formula.
  • She has been allowed in the nursery as we have set things up.
  • We have set up the car seat, stroller, swing and bassinet and put them where they will reside for baby.  Once they were set up, we put her favorite stuffed toy lion in them, one by one, and let her see how they worked.  She rescued the lion from all objects but was able to check them out.  The main thing I think we will have a problem with though is the swing, she currently does not appreciate the noises it makes when it runs.  So we are running it nightly for a bit so she can get used to it.
  • We have left objects such as bottles, binkies, and smaller toys around the house and practiced her “leave it” command with them in hopes that this curbs the desire to steal them away later.
  • Yes, my Husband will bring home a blanket from the hospital for Fenway to smell before we make the trip home with baby.
  • We also plan on keeping her routine as normal as possible once the baby comes.  She will still go her normal days to doggie day care and she will still get her daily walks at the same time.  I know this can be done thanks to the help of my sister living with us and my husband being able to take her to work with him and drop her off later at day care.

And just like human kiddos, you must have a plan for your fur kids, for when you go into labor.  Once again, we are lucky to have my sister living with us to help with that main concern.  She is also added, along with one other friend, to the approved list of who can do pick ups and drop offs at her doggie day care.  (The human child will be once again, watched by my sister or will come with us as my ex-husband, thankfully, only lives 5 blocks from the hospital.  Being 13 years old and not much younger helps as well.)

We are lucky enough that Fenway seems to be officially out of the naughty puppy phase.  Guests can come over and she won’t take off with their shoes, she no longer steals socks, she doesn’t hide under our bed with Rebecca’s toys and she actually uses some manners.  This gives me hope that we won’t have too many other problems with her once baby does come.  She currently brings toys to the bump, attempts to cuddle with her and bump often responds to her.  Lets hope they remain buds on the outside world as well!

What ways did you prepare your furbaby for your human baby?


35 Weeks- Birthing Class

I went back and forth about taking a birthing class that was offered through our hospital.  They had a couple of options of a class that was from bump to bassinet.  Basically meaning from labor through the newborn phase with a hospital tour included.  We had the choice of an all day Saturday class or break it up over a couple of weeks.  We chose the 8 hour Saturday class and I started regretting it the closer it got.

Saturday we packed up a few pillows, that we were requested to bring, snacks, water, and set off for the hospital.  We were joined in a room of 15 other couples and two teachers.  To make a long day, short in story, it was the biggest waste of 8 hours and $80 for us.  I can honestly see how it may have helped some couples in the class but for us, it wasn’t worth it.  I understand birth, the vocab, what is coming and what our plan is.  I know newborn care, I’ve been there before.  I honestly thought maybe I would gain some new knowledge or tools for labor that I haven’t looked into.  I thought maybe I would gain some more confidence for labor itself and perhaps help educate my Husband some more on what he can expect on his end.  I also thought we would be refreshed on a few newborn ideas but got absolutely none of that.  What I did get was frustrated.

In fact, we almost left at lunch and didn’t come back.  The instructors were very heavy on the natural birth topic and I felt the information on interventions (such as c-sections) and pain relief (such as epidurals) were explained with mere scare tactics.  Instead of mentioning that labor, you know, hurts, they liked to just say it is uncomfortable.  Contractions are uncomfortable, massaging the uterus post labor can be uncomfortable, recovering from c-section can be uncomfortable, pushing can be uncomfortable BUT that is all.

In our postpartum section of the class a few people asked questions that were related to formula feeding, not breastfeeding, and what to expect physically from their body in that circumstance.  Those questions were not answered and instead the instructors said they would answer those questions separately at break.  So much for the “feel free to ask anything at all” comment that was made at the beginning of class.  There were many questions that were asked that the automatic response from the instructors was “it is best to ask your health care provider” or ” it is best to ask your pediatrician.”  What was covered was very basic at best.

There were a few other topics that felt very one-sided from the instructors.  Which I’m very okay hearing all options but that is the thing, you have to give more than one!  The instructors both have older children and would discuss how kids aren’t really that expensive until they are much older.  Financially, babies are not that much.  I’m sorry, what?!  Another tough topic was how much you are a mommy now and you can no longer be anything else so you should accept that.  You will lose your friends, your sex life, your social life and so forth so you should just accept that and make the best of your new life because you are a mommy.  Yay!

In a nut shell, I felt like this class was taught from one perspective only.  If I had wanted that perspective or knew that ahead of time then that would have been fine.  I think if that is what you are looking for, then you can easily look into those more topic specific classes.  However, when this is supposed to be a broad class through the hospital, that all doctors encourage you to take, I expect a bit more open-mindedness to the fact that not everyone will be birthing or handling their newborns the same.

I should have questioned my doctor a bit more on why she thought it was such an ideal class to take.  I should have questioned what the class covers (or lack there of) a bit more.  And I should have trusted my own instincts on whether or not we even needed the class.  My suggestion to you, make sure the class is what you are absolutely looking for.

We did rally afterwards and went out for a nice steak dinner and made it home in time to see our football team lose in over time.  Not a complete waste of a Saturday that way:)

34 Weeks – 2nd Baby Shower

A week and a few days ago we were lucky enough to be thrown our second baby shower in a bar.  Yes, classy.  Actually it was a party room in a bar in which we invited all of our friends, male and female, demanded zero children attend, no presents be opened and no games be played.  We just wanted a night for our friends to come hang out, eat and drink with us.  Okay, I had water, but the martini’s looked really yummy.

This was the perfect balance to our more traditional first baby shower and you guys, it was amazing.  My Husband was happy to be in on the action, we had plenty of time to really catch up with friends, and everyone thought it was the coolest idea.  One of my brilliant friends, who threw the shower for us, had a nice Pinterest idea for everyone.  She bought tons of plain wooden blocks and sharpies, laid them out on the tables and let people use their imaginations as they drank, to decorate blocks for the baby.  This turned into a drinking game of lining up the blocks and creating dirty stories.  I know, we are horrible people and you can judge us BUT the laughter from people, the fun, the memories, the high fives, the drinks being knocked over (drunks) the BLOCKS.  We got calls and texts the following week from people saying best baby shower ever!

For that time being, while we celebrated, I didn’t feel like the odd pregnant person.  I didn’t feel like the one holding everyone back.  I didn’t feel like I just missed out on the entire fun of Summer.  I didn’t feel like I was benched while the rest of the team got to play.  Man, did I need all of that.  Even better I was able to do it all with my Husband by my side instead of coming back to the house afterwards and filling him in on the details.

We got home late that night, sat on the floor with the left over cake and opened all the gifts together.  I couldn’t sleep from the sugar high that night but it was well worth it. The love from both baby showers was incredibly overwhelming.  To see the support we have from our friends and family is amazing and to be able to share in those moments with my Husband was even better.  If you are on the fence about the co-ed baby shower or doing something different, do it.  To be able to have that night with my Husband, celebrating our baby, was something I will never regret.


34 Weeks- Maternity Photos

If you are anywhere near your Facebook or Pinterest, you know the rage on maternity photos.  I can tell you, if you go back 33 years to when my Mom was pregnant with me, there is only proof due to one random photo in which she looks like she is wearing a tent.  We have come a long ways my blog friends.

My Husband and I are not the adoring couple, who gaze lovingly into each others eyes, while holding bump .  We can’t stare down, lovingly, at the bump looking like we are dreaming of the perfect future with an infant that immediately sleeps through the night.  I sure as hell am not the woman who can pull off the flowing, see through, white dress, while standing in a meadow of flowers with the perfect sun setting behind me.

I have honestly looked, with jealously, at all those perfect maternity shoots that my friends have done.  Trust me, I am not against them but I just couldn’t see us doing them.  Needless to say, it is something I went back and forth on.

I didn’t want to regret not doing some sort of photos but I have had a hard enough time taking a few bump pictures for my own memory.  I also didn’t want to shell out the money that was associated with the all-inclusive photos, followed by all the baby shoots.  I decided against them and went to book our newborn photo shoot instead.  When I did the photographer said she was running a deal, a free maternity shoot with the booking of the newborn shoot.  Well hell, how do I turn that down?

So I reluctantly told the lady we would go for it but begged her to not do cheesy.  Could we just do a few shots together, with our furbaby, something basic and if we hated them then we didn’t have to show anyone?  We could at least have them and move on with life.  She happily replied she knew exactly what we were talking about and could take non-cheesy photos.

One Sunday evening, after our second baby shower and an hour of sleep, we set off to the perfect meadow, with the sun setting behind us, my sister loaded with dog treats, our fur baby pulling us along and 200 friendly mosquitoes.  I brought along one dress, not see through or white, but blue and basic.  After 15 minutes of the basic shots I went and changed into jeans and a top and comfortably took a few more in another, easy, 15 minutes.  The whole time our fur baby smiled happily and listened well. My sister gave us many thumbs up, meaning we didn’t look ridiculous.  Before we knew it, we were done and there were no strange moments.

I have to say, picking the right photographer makes a world of a difference.  This lady was quick, to the point, laid back and truly understood we just wanted the basics.  This past weekend we received a link to all of our photos via email.  We held our breath as we opened the link and were pleasantly surprised.  I wasn’t overly fond of the ones in the dress (my belly button timer was sticking out:) but I looked much better in my comfy clothes.

Overall I am so very happy we had these done.  We aren’t going to up and frame them but I am happy we have a good reminder of this point in our lives.  So if you are on the fence about them, go for it, it is better than regretting you didn’t do them later because you can’t really go back and do it again.

August 19 – a day of HOPE


For all those out there who have lost a baby. They will never be forgotten and I hope you all find what heals you.

Originally posted on Awaiting Autumn:

Today is August 19 – a day of HOPE – hosted by the Carly Marie Project. The inspiration for today is to break the silence about infant and pregnancy loss while honouring the lives of our children who left us too soon.

Participants are encouraged to make a prayer flag in memory of their child(ren), then share photos of it on social media.

I didn’t get a chance to make a flag to honour Emme, but I did share one of the project’s awareness images on my Instagram with the following statement:

“Some people think that having a rainbow baby in your womb changes everything. It doesn’t. You don’t ever forget. You simply learn to live as the “new you” – a mother to two children, one Angel; one on his way. You know that life can change in an instant, so you become more grateful for your blessings. You feel…

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