Finding the time for communication

My first marriage lasted a little over four years, although we were together for almsot 10 years.  I am grateful for every minute of time with my ex-husband and don’t regret that marriage.  For if it wasn’t for him my current marriage wouldn’t be what it is. 

While it was hard work to look at my first marriage in depth I did just that after my divorce.  I saw what I did wrong, how I failed him as a wife, what I did want or didn’t want in a future husband. I took all that to dating and then to my current marriage.  Just a few months in to this marriage and we don’t take our marriage for granted at all. 

The biggest thing I learned from my divorce was communication or lack thereof.  That is the one thing I strive for in my marriage above all else.  If you lose communication then everything else is bound to go.  It can be hard some days to sit down and have the “how was your day” conversation but the time is there if we find it.  It is easy for us to come home from work and the gym, make supper and sit in front of the TV.  A few weeks ago we realized that had to quit and I wanted less TV and more us. 

Husband now sits at the bar of the kitchen and talks to me when I make supper.  We then actually sit at the table while we eat with no TV on.  We never run out of things to talk about and we have come to realize it is actually a good stress reliever.  It is so easy to zone out at night on the computer or TV but we are getting use to having less of both and more real time. 

Something so simple can go a long ways but each day passes and we lose time if we don’t pay attention. I can’t wait for the next whole day off or vacation together to reconnect, we need to try and do it every day. 

What do you do to communicate in your relationship?

6 thoughts on “Finding the time for communication

  1. I recently came out of a 2.5 year relationship and lack of communication was ultimately one of the core reasons. I always opened up about any issues, fears, or even god feelings I had, whereas he just never let me in at all. He kept secrets and it caused him to suffer depression and take it out on me, all the while, he never said and so I just felt bullied and taken for-granted. Afterwards, he told me he knew I would have listened and helped him but but it was too late. Be open and communicative from the get go, it’s the only way for a healthy relationship. Like you and your husband do, make time each day for talking and be sure to share, having someone special to talk with about anything is really very special.

  2. So true. It’s easy to slide into NOT communicating more than it is to focus on communicating, isn’t it? I too learned the hard way and didn’t communicate nearly enough in my marriage. But with M, we both really work on that and just get it out in the open, whatever it may be, so we don’t hold onto any bad (or good!) feelings and are always on the same page!! Great post!

  3. We have four girls so when they were younger it was harder. Every night at 9pm we usually had them all put to bed we would sit together for an hour and have a glass of wine and talk. Now we usually both get home 7ish, have a quick dinner and go for a walk. My hubby loves to talk a lot when we walk so we always get a great connection that way. If we ever lose our daily connection for a bit we notice that we don’t get along as well. It is soooo important! Love the look of this new blog. It is really nice.

    1. We love to take walks and ride bikes when it is nice out also. Such an easy time to talk and bond. Good for you two to set a great example for your girls! And good to see you here:)

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