When I first met my Husband he mentioned he didn’t drink. I didn’t quite understand the terms of this as I enjoy my wine to the fullest. He explained further that he was an AA. To me, AA was a place where strung out people went in a church basement late at night. I know, I was clueless. I knew my Dad was an alcoholic but I didn’t know much more than that. Here I was about to be schooled on a subject I didn’t know about.
My Husband was a functioning alcoholic. One who came home from his last deployment and fixed his PTSD with drinking and blew several hundred dollars a week on beer. He wasn’t a mean drunk or a crazy drunk. I’ve heard stories from friends but after a DUI forced him to AA he realized his life would probably be better off without the booze. A few months after that he met me.
When we met he went to meetings every day and I would be lying if I told you it didn’t bother me. Our dates were planned around his meetings and I struggled to understand it. One night we had an in-depth conversation about where he thought he would be with this 2 years from then, 5 years from then. Would he still need/want meetings every day? It made a difference to me because I didn’t know what it would be like when we had kids and so forth.
Eventually our life went from dating, to a home, to a life together and we got into a routine. Slowly he stopped going to as many meetings and found a new sponsor. This wasn’t something I forced him to do but something that he adjusted for his new life style. He no longer felt the need to work his life around AA or let his life be only about that.
He has an addictive personality, that is for sure, but he can go with me and my friends to a bar and it doesn’t bother him. Every now and then he stops into a meeting but our life no longer revolves around them. I have gained a new respect for the program and laughed when our wedding reception was full of recovering alcoholics and then my drunks ass friends.
I’m proud that he will hit three years of sobriety this Friday because I can tell you that this has changed him. We both know that we would not be together if he was still drinking. The best part, I always have a DD. The bad part, he still remembers every crazy thing we did in bed after a night of me having too much wine.
One thought on “My Husband Doesn’t Drink but I Do”
I am so impressed with how you two have managed this one difference in your lives…because for us that DO like to drink (and not to an excessive amount per se, but just LOVE it so, as you know what I mean!), it is hard to weave the social aspect together when there is also a need for sensitivity for the person that is recovering from addiction. You two have done this so well, and I applaud his three years strong, that is amazing. Congrats to him!