I have that kind of job that people make fun of in movies. Insurance. There is nothing exciting about that. Recently my boss shut down our office an hour early so we could go do team building. In other words we went to a bar and ignored one another. While there my boss was on edge and worried because no one was at our office to answer the phone. I took a drink of my beer before I informed him we were merely insurance agents, not brain surgeons. No one gives a shit about us until they are standing in line at the DMV and realize that they don’t have an insurance ID card with them. Do you know what I say to that? It isn’t brand new news that you need proof of insurance. You should have remembered that shit yourself. I still don’t think that thought has fully sunk into my bosses brain.
Perhaps I should care more. I do see where we are handy in a bind but we are also in an industry where people would just like to know shit is taken care of, a check is written and they can ignore us. Well, done. I feel as those we should have a sign over our office that states- We don’t believe in YOLO but we believe in Armageddon. Seriously, you have no idea how often we prepare for everything.
I sat in a meeting yesterday and we discussed, for an hour of my life that I will never get back, children’s motorized cars. You know the type, the Jeep for boys and the Barbie car for girls. Battery operated for a three-year-old. Apparently these things cause an hour meeting for liability purposes and do you know some people aren’t covered for the off-chance of the worse case scenario?!?!
Don’t even get me started on my child’s scooter. Apparently that is a whole other subject. Golf cart? Game over.
This is my life. Listening to people slowly raise their voices into a squeal over how no one cares these days about the toys children play with.
This is not me. I do not care to live in a bubble of safety worrying about what might happen and I would much rather go out and live. That is why this job suffocates me. That is why I lose my mind. That is why I have to know something has to break at some point.
Now if you will excuse me I have to get back to work.
Through My Mistakes 
As a woman that hated her job for years I tell you to get out before it destroys you. One day I just had enough and walked out. In retrospect it had the potential to be a disastrous move because I was a single mom with a mortgage and not a cent in savings. But walked out I did and now I am doing a job that I love, palliative care. Everyday I go home I feel so fulfilled and good.
So leave. Either walk out like I did or plan your escape but go!
You are amazing Barbara. I wish I could do that and I won’t be surprised the day I do. Life is just to short. Good for you to chase your dreams!