Distance, timing and well, I’m on my own

Last week my husband enjoyed four days and three nights, away from me, in the warmth that is Vegas.  A place that involved above freezing temps, shorts, flip flops and he even managed a bit of a sunburn one day.  I was jealous to say the least but since I’m leaving for England soon, I won’t whine.

While he was gone I enjoyed our king size bed, salad only dinners and perhaps a few extra glass of wine, all by myself. While he was gone someone made a comment to me along the lines of “Don’t you realize how much your husband actually does for you once he isn’t around to do it?”  My answer-no.  They looked a bit taken aback.

Here’s the deal.  My husband works insanely long hours and when he is done with work he goes and works until late at night on the flipping of our rental home. All this fun spills into the weekends as well.  We really don’t see one another much and yes, this wears on me but I know there is somewhat of an end in sight when he is done with that bloody house.  In the meantime, I’m on my own.  I take out the trash, I do the laundry, I find the screw driver and fix shit on my own.  I go check out the scary noise or chase the grill cover down the road when the wind takes it.  I’m picking up his end of the household chores and trying to hold out eating dinner until he can fall in the door.  And to be honest, he is useless when he does come home late at night.

So how did I really feel with him gone?  I needed the break just as much as he did.  I didn’t have to worry about where he was, or a dinner time, or trying to stay up late so we could have a face to face conversation for a few minutes.  We have been spread thin on time together and I didn’t realize just how much until he took that trip because life didn’t really change a whole lot. It is sad really but these are those times you just have to get through.  It forces us to make sure we get out for a date night, or we try to grab lunch together (even if sitting at his job site.)  It forces us to communicate so we don’t spin out of control on schedules or who needs to be where and when.  It forces us to pay full attention to our marriage because this is a time where it could be so easy to just let it go on cruise control.

I’m fully appreciating the fact that we are able to do this right now and handle it.  My first marriage never could handle this.  At this point the only thing I’m truly worried about is if the trash will ever make it out when I’m in England and if the Husband will eat anything besides cookies.