There was the beautiful bride in a princess dress, her groom standing next to her while candles lit the fireplace in front of them. Behind them sat 250 people and in front of them the minister began to speak the words that would start them in their marriage. There were some funny stories, a prayer or two and then the minister started to get a bit heavy into what he thought marriage was. This part, was where many people in the room began to shift a lot in their chairs, while catching their spouses eye, wondering where this guy was going with this speech. We were all with him till he said the following words to the couple:
“How much you love one another, right now, in this moment, is it. You will never fall more in love with one another because marriage is hard.”
He continued for another, very long, 20 minutes about how hard marriage is and how tough things are going to get and on and on and on. Hey, I know, it is tough and you don’t have to sugar coat everything but woah. Just woah. I can tell you what people were talking about after the ceremony was over and it wasn’t about how pretty the bride was. It was about how apparently none of us will fall more in love with our spouse but we sure as hell will start hating them more. I don’t know where this man got his license to marry anyone or what his marriage is like (he was fairly young) but I don’t think he could have been more wrong.
I can tell you I fall more and more in love with my husband. Some days more than others but I can honestly say that I love him now more than the day we were married. I can’t imagine standing there on our wedding day and someone saying what that minister said. It was more than rude, it was appalling to those who were married in the room. Your wedding day should be the one day that you and your new spouse can look with rose-colored glasses into your future and dream of perfection instead of hell.
How would you feel if that was your wedding day speech from the minister? Or do you agree with him?
Through My Mistakes 
wow, just wow. I have to completely disagree with him. You know what? LIFE IS HARD. You could say the same thing about having children–the day you’ll love them most is the day you give birth and you’ll never love them more after that moment bc all they do is crap their pants, eat, and sleep and take away all your free time, etc… but I rarely hear people say they don’t love their kids. Sure there are times I really just want to shove my husband. Heck, I can even understand why that woman shoved her husband down the cliff–it’s because he probably didn’t put his dirty dish in the dishwasher. But it’s those moments where I reflect back and think of EVERYTHING we’ve been through together and I realize just how lucky and blessed I am. That guy must have been going through a rough time.
Couldn’t have said it better! And a good comparison with the kids. We all have our moment, as wives, where we think about kicking our husband in the balls but we move on…and don’t do it. This guy was just strange!
I think I have commented on this topic before but I have been married 28 years this Oct and I am more in love with my husband every day. He is my best friend. We have so much fun together. Of course there were hard times, 4 moody girl teenagers to deal with, him getting MS eight years ago but if it is your best friend hard times make you closer. Sometimes we look back at the naive 25 year olds we were when we got married and say how lucky we got that we did love each other more and more and more. We expected to and did but some people don’t. Glad you have found the same thing!
That is one of the perks of marriage-falling more in love! You are so right!
My goodness. I do agree that your wedding day should be about looking happily forward to your future, verses being forced to dwell on the potential hell you might be entering. Honestly, can we just have a happy wedding day that is about love and union….there’s plenty of time to deal with the shit later.
Do I think you fall more in love with your spouse over the years? Not always…..divorced people can certainly attest to that. I do think it’s possible to fall more in love with your spouse, but it is also possible to be deeply disappointed in your spouse, to a degree that your marriage has a permanent scar. Considering 50% of marriages break up, it might be a bit over-optimistic to say you will only fall more in love. However, I do NOT think that needs to be discussed on the actual wedding day.
Lunar-As a divorced person I completely understand with your statement that some may not fall more in love with their spouses! A very unforunate fact but a fact all the less when 50% of marriages do end in divorce. But you might as well start off with the first day of your marriage with a bit of a rainbow:)
wow. can’t believe he said that either. I honestly fall in love with my husband more every day, especially during the hard times, and think you SHOULD fall more in love with each other over and over again ❤