On Turning 32

Last week I slowly slid from the age of 31 to 32.  While my Birthday is July 10th, the celebration usually begins on July 4th and continues until the weekend after my actual date.  I have no idea why this is.  Perhaps it is the awesomeness that is a summer birthday but it happens every year and this was no different.

I celebrated quietly and loudly, depends on what day you ask about.  There were quiet dinners, family, boating, presents, wine and rum.  A few of my favorite things in no particular order.

There were also two trips to the fertility specialist.  One the day prior to my birthday and one the day after…..because that is how everyone should celebrate.  On the first trip Doc mentioned what a great birthday present it would be for me to be ovulating on the working side.

Yes, exactly what I always thought I would be dreaming of for my 32 birthday.

Once again, I’m ovulating on the side that is blocked.

Next month she will up the drugs that I take and try to get the unblocked side (my left side) to ovulate as well.  Her positive outlook is that it has to trigger at some point.  How long do I have to wait for that?  She isn’t sure.

How long do we sit around and do this roller coaster every month waiting for the left side to ovulate?  AND then when it does happen on my left side there are no guarantees. (Obviously)  THEN what happens if I have to wait many more months for that side to trigger again?

Then my brain exploded.

My doctor patted me on the shoulder and said one month at a time.  Yea, like my Husband repeats from AA, one day at a time to keep on a sober path.  But I’m not trying to get sober here, just knocked up.  I suppose sobriety comes with that though.

Ten years ago my 22 year old self wished for many different things on my birthday.  Probably NOT to be pregnant because I had a few of those moments.  I didn’t pay attention to ovulation nor did I care.  I just didn’t want that time of month to come along on the wrong day and fuck with my plans.

Oh, the difference 10 years makes.  Welcome to being an adult.  It is all a trap, I tell ya.


6 thoughts on “On Turning 32

    1. They are:) But my right side apparently doesn’t believe in that and is the only one ovulating but since it is blocked then it won’t work….selfish indeed. I think left side needs to be a bit more of a leader:)

  1. Ugh friend. I am so sorry that there is so many ups and downs and fits and starts with this right now. I am praying for you and really hope that right side takes turns with the left soon. xoxo.

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