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I have always asked the same questions to my pregnant friends throughout the years.  To be on the other end of it is so interesting.  I think I find it odd to have the focus on me to be quite honest.  Or the fact that after trying for so long and then keeping things to ourselves, it is strange to have people ask pointed, very personal questions about your pregnancy and soon-to-be-parenting.  It was different when we were planning a wedding or building a house.  The questions don’t get overly personal then and they are mostly fun but this is a whole new ballgame.

Sure you get your basic questions from people who I really don’t mind answering…..

Are you finding out what you are having? Yes! May 27th!

What do you think it is? A girl.  Literally everyone’s guess is girl, except for my FIL’s.  It also helps to have a friend who is a well-known psychic, who also has never been wrong on anything in my life.  This would be a first for him if it isn’t a girl.

What do you want? The correct answer here is to always say “To have a healthy baby.” Eyeroll, no shit.  Instead my answer is to say a puppy, possibly panda. 

How do you feel?  Good and I am so grateful for that.

Do you have cravings? I’m embarrassed to say it the blueberry Eggo waffles.  You know, the processed kind from a box. Could be worse. 

Have you bought anything yet?  A few outfits and one print for the nursery. If it isn’t a girl then our friend’s baby is getting some kick ass summer clothes!  When I spot diapers on sale, I grab a box or two of those.

Then the tables can turn quickly.  People will ask the following questions that will throw me off and make me double-check that they are literally talking to me.  Once I answer, half the people will then insert their own judgmental answer. Truth be told, it does not bother me when close friends ask me these questions.  It is the people who don’t know me on a personal level that bug me.

I’m quickly learning that being pregnant means people feel there are no boundaries with you.  Take for instance, when they try to touch you.  Why the fuck are you touching me?  I have smacked so many hands away and will continue to do so.  I don’t know where those hands have been.  And I have no shame, I grabbed a friends boob right as she grabbed my stomach.  Fair play. And these are only people I know, what happens when it is complete strangers going for the larger bump? If you know me in real life, you know my filter is broken a lot.

How much weight have you gained?  How much weight have yooooou gained?  

Are you even eating enough?  Yes, My doctor and I have my diet under control and are not concerned with my weight.

What is your birth plan?  To have a baby.

Are you getting an epidural? Are you doing this naturally? Are you going to a hospital?  I’m doing this with Rum and under a doctors supervision.

How often are you peeing? When my bladder tells me to. 

Are you feeling up to having sex much?  Are you offering?

Was this planned?  Does it matter?

Did they check for twins?  Why? Do I look like I’m having twins?

Are you guys excited? I would hope so!

I know it will get worse the more I show.  I’ve heard horror stories from friends.  I guess at this point you just have to chuckle.  What are the most ridiculous things you have been asked when pregnant?