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A few weeks ago I decided I needed to take the plunge and go find a few maternity clothes to add to my closet so I didn’t soon find myself standing in said closet, naked, with nothing to wear to work.  I figured I would start with a few basic tops and perhaps a pair of shorts and jeans.  At 21 weeks I have gained 6lbs on my 5’2″ frame.  When I went shopping I believe I was only up 4lbs.

I set off on a Saturday, by myself, while the Husband worked on the basement. That was my first mistake, going by myself.  I found myself in Motherhood Store in the mall and was the only one minus a husband/mother/friend for support.  After asking the sales lady a few questions she looked me up and down and asked if I was shopping for a friend.  I explained that I indeed had my own bump under my t-shirt and suddenly felt like I was 13 and shopping for my first bra on my own.  She looked at the Victoria’s Secret bag in my hand and pointed out maternity underwear to me in the corner.  I wanted to tell her to fuck off but managed a polite “no thanks.”  I quickly decided I would just grab what I could and tackle it all in the dressing room.

I will admit, I had this image in my head of people dressing their cute bumps and still not looking like they were hiding under a tent.  What I forgot to tell myself, was those people in the magazines, are just like every other model, pregnant or not in the magazine, they aren’t real, they are photo-shopped.  I found out my bump wasn’t big enough for maternity shirts and they were swimming on me.  Sure, they will fit one day but not for my immediate need.  Even though I have finally grown some boobs, they didn’t fit into the tops either and there was no way I had enough to fill their tank tops.  To top it off, they weren’t just the normal long length to go over my bump, they practically went down to my knees.

Every pair of pants and shorts I tried on made me grow more and more frustrated.  I was still fitting into my regular pants but buttoning them was becoming uncomfortable.  So many people had mentioned to me that they wished they didn’t wait so long before they purchased maternity pants and I thought I would find this heaven they were talking about.  Instead those pants fell down on me or were only held up by the belly support bands.  They left me with the saggiest butt ever and made the crotch area look like my vagina had the possibility of growing 10 times its size in length.  I don’t plan on eating enough cookies for my vagina to gain 5lbs.

After three more trips outside the dressing room, to collect more clothing to try, I managed to find three Jessica Simpson line shirts to grow into.  Again, they didn’t help with any immediate need but didn’t seem horrible.  While waiting in line to check out, I grabbed a tummy sleeve and figured that would be a good temporary fix to my pants situation. I texted a friend who told me to try Old Navy and Target and then perhaps just go up a size in regular clothing.  I gathered my wits, ate a cookie in the food court (okay I silently wished it was a glass of wine) and set off to try it all again.

Target proved to be more realistic for a few basic tops, some just a size up in regular clothing.  In Old Navy, it took some digging, but I found some maxi skirts and tanks that would certainly get me started and did not feel so motherly maternity, as I call it.  I called my Mom on the way home and she quickly reminded me that maternity clothes were no different from regular clothes.  I have always struggled finding clothes to fit my small frame, why should this be different?  It sucks, but isn’t something new to me, I was just looking at it wrong.

Here I am a few weeks later and those tummy sleeves are worth every penny.  I can stay in my regular pants and shorts for the time being with that and life is much better when I don’t have to button my pants.  Also, I just wear casual clothing to work so those maxi skirts are another life saver and for me.  I have worn the shirts I purchased but most people comment that they still look a bit big on me so I have just been wearing regular shirts up a size.  All my work out clothes, sweats, and weekend wear still fit so I haven’t had to tackle that yet.

I still stand in my closet, naked, hating all my clothes most mornings.  I tried on no more than 4 outfits this morning, discarding them all on the floor in an attempt to find something that felt right.  I will say though, my bikini and Victoria’s Secret underwear still fits just fine, thank you.