Long before I was pregnant, I would cringe when I heard a couple say “We are pregnant.” I never quite understood that phrase and thought that maybe once I was pregnant then I would change my mind. Nope. My mind has not changed. The phrase has come from my mouth once or twice, as an expecting woman, and I absolutely want to eat my words. My Husband knows better than to ever mutter those words.
I’m sorry if I offend any couples that are expecting out there but to me, there is no “we” that are pregnant. I am pregnant, my Husband is not. We are both expecting a baby, we can use that term, but just because he is dealing with a pregnant wife, does not in turn make him pregnant.
My Husband gets to get up everyday and go to work, work his normal schedule, come home and do his normal chores/activities/etc. At this point in my pregnancy nothing has changed for him. He does not get up in the middle of the night to make several trips to the bathroom, he doesn’t wonder what will fit him in the morning, he does not have to sit down throughout the day because his body tells him to, he does not have to deal with random pains and weight gain. Even mentally not much has changed for him. Daily my brain is thinking about pediatricians, what we need to schedule next, doctors appointments, to do lists and countdown till baby.
Before I was pregnant my Husband told me he would quit chewing and start losing weight once I was pregnant. It would be him giving up something alongside me. It was meant to make me feel like we were both going through something for 9 months. I can officially tell you that while I have quit drinking and gained weight, he has started chewing more and not lost one pound.
Some may have Husbands that have taken on extra chores around the house or have decided to give their wives a back rub every night after they read their wives bump a bedtime story. That hasn’t happened in my house. In fact, I took on my Husbands’ normal chores since he is working every extra minute on finishing the basement.
I’m not trying to complain about my Husband at all, it isn’t that. Men really do go through their own process when expecting the arrival of a new baby and they do deal with plenty when you are pregnant. But as the actual pregnant person in the relationship, I don’t get the chance to “get a break” from the baby. I am reminded every minute of every day that we have an arrival of a little human coming. I try to make my Husband feel involved and he does try to be involved. He comes to every appointment and we have had plenty of conversations regarding this baby but in the end, I’m the main source, I’m the oven, I’m the whatever you want to call it, but really, I’m in charge here. Actually, to be real, the baby is.
I don’t think the full reality hits most men until a screaming newborn is plopped into their arms.
In fact, I have actually been offended when someone looks at my Husband and says “Oh, you guys are pregnant.” I would like to take the credit for what my body is doing all on its own, thank you.
So no, I will not congratulate you and your Husband on being pregnant. I will congratulate you both on expecting the arrival of your baby. Because in my household my Husband is not pregnant, that is all cookies and mountain dew.