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Last week I started my maternity leave from work.  Starting it early was one of the smarter moves I have made.  It was about that same time that I started not being able to sleep very well due to being so uncomfortable.  I can tell you I have spent the majority of the time walking, hiking, doing yoga and cleaning to the point that there is nothing left to clean.  I’ve also read 4 books and received numerous phone calls from my husband asking if I am in labor yet.  I’ve also answered many texts, emails and phone calls from friends and family wondering the same thing.

The up to the minute answer is – no, at this moment, I am not in labor.

As I mentioned before, our perinatologist does not want this baby staying in past the 40 week mark which happens to be next Tuesday, the 20th.  But hey, no one thought she would make it to 40 weeks anyways.  We were all planning on an early arrival.  She has certainly proved us wrong.

Each appointment I have gone in for I have proudly found my body progressing.  While I have yet to experience any contractions or Braxton hicks contractions during this pregnancy, I have still managed to get to 3cm dilated and 80% effaced.  At yesterday’s appointment I also had my doctor go ahead and do a membrane sweep.  No biggie.  She said 50% of women go into labor within 24 hours of having that done and since I was already making progress she wouldn’t be surprised if she saw me in L & D within few hours.  Good thing I didn’t hold my breath for that.  A few hours later I was out hiking with my dog feeling absolutely no different.  In fact, I slept a bit more comfortably last night.  No change. I’m going to say I am not apart of the laboring 50% but hey, didn’t hurt to try.

My doctor did give me an eviction notice just in case the baby didn’t want to cooperate like we thought she might.  The eviction notice looks something like directions on being induced at 7 am next Tuesday.  Also known as, the end of the pregnancy!  I was more than happy to carry that piece of paper out of the doctor’s office like it was my get out of jail free card!

You know, I cannot look back on this pregnancy and say “Hey, that went by fast!” No, it did not.  I’m quite sure turtles passed me.  BUT, I can finally tell you a few things I am grateful for in this pregnancy.  I went into this really dreading all the horrible things people told me would happen.  Let me tell you right now, just because one person experiences something in pregnancy, does not mean that you will.  So if you are reading this at 12 weeks pregnant, breathe, not every bad thing will apply to you.

  • While I gained more than I thought I would, and I really, really struggled with gaining the weight, I did gain the minimum.  I did not gain 70lbs.
  • I kept up with my main workouts as long as possible and found alternatives when it was time.  People really made me feel like I was horrible for it but I’m proud of what I can still manage to do in my yoga practice with a beach ball in the way!
  • I did not pee myself or shit myself in public or private.  I will not get overly detailed about this but lets just say nothing bad has happened in the excrement area, thank God.  No hemorrhoids, constipation, leaking or anything else you can think of.  Just an increase need to pee because you know, all the water.  (150-175oz a day if you want to know)
  • I have no stretch marks.  I used Palmers cocoa lotion everyday but have nothing else to offer in that area.
  • While baby’s head is currently low and giving me some vaginal pressure, I have yet to waddle.
  • I’ve had my hormonal bad days but nothing that has scared off my husband or caused him to ask for a divorce.
  • I have not had problems with varicose veins rearing their ugly head.
I’m now moving on to people giving me more of their horrible birth stories at a pace that says they are running out of time to attempt to scare me.  Apparently I should be more nervous and for some reason I am just not.  Labor is part of it and it is called labor for a reason.  But you know what, it is a moment that will end and life will move on.  I will hopefully escape that moment with little trauma.  Rest assured I will be back to tell you all about it.  Right after I hold my baby girl and have that glass of wine.  Cheers!