It was about 36 hours after I had Cora and I stood there in the hospital lobby with two other nurses, waiting for my Husband to pull the truck around. It was exactly 13 months to the day from when I sat in that same lobby, after my D&C and wondered if I would ever be able to leave that hospital with my own baby. It was such a surreal feeling to be able to put her in the truck and bring her home.
It was just as shocking to be leaving the hospital. It felt like I spent most of my pregnancy waiting for that hospital stay. Perhaps it was the unknown of what was going to happen once we walked through those hospital doors. There is constant talk about how and what labor will be like. You pack and re-pack for the stay. Preparing like I did for my wedding day and worry about the chance of rain.
As my OB came in to say goodbye and take a picture with Cora, I was overcome with emotion. We were at the end of this journey. The journey of getting a baby here safely. We had spent years going to doctors appointments in this very hospital. Months waiting for this baby and here we were being set free. It actually feels strange to know I’m not going back until my own 6 week follow-up.
When we got home that day, we settled right in. We had a few visitors and I rode the adrenaline high. The first night, I didn’t sleep at all. I fretted over her while she slept in her bassinet next to our bed, perfectly content. Fenway stood watch all night as well, peering over at her every time she made a noise.
My Husband stayed home for a week and then my Mom came the following two days after that. Then it was just Cora and I, on our own during the day. I will say my Husband going back to work was much tougher than what I anticipated because, hormones. Here we were, snuggled in our own world with our new little one, and suddenly he was leaving us. It wasn’t so much that I was worried about being on my own as I was worried about him missing out. The precious first week together was already coming to an end. So every day after that when he came home from work I would burst into tears. They were happy tears but tears none the less. I’ve managed to pull my shit together this week though as we continue to work into our new normal and my hormones seem to be a bit more in check.
Through My Mistakes 
I absolutely understand the feeling of the husband going back to work. I try to take as many photos and videos as I can so he doesn’t miss too much but I’m extremely happy that once he’s home, he takes over caring for her so they can bond. I was worried about me having a stronger bond (which is inevitable when I spend all day with her) and him missing out for sure. He actually went to work for a few hours while I was still in the hospital. He’s been back to his regular work schedule ever since and I haven’t had anyone come over to help mostly because I don’t like asking for help. I am super thankful that the overwhelming feeling has subsided for the most part.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve done the same, taking/sending videos and photos all day. It does help to share those moments with him. Like you, it helps that those overwhelming feelings subside day by day. Good for your husband to take advantage of that time with baby for their own bonding. And it gives us mammas a break too:)
I think it’s completely unfair that dads don’t get to stay home longer! I was lucky, I husband got a 30 day vacation when the girls were 2 or 3 weeks old… I couldn’t do it without him. =(
ps: you made me cry. maybe I’m pregnant again… ha ha (NOT!)
Awh didn’t mean to make you cry! Mamma hormones:) And you were lucky. 30 days would have great! All the way around, the US just sucks for leave for new parents:( Not fair!
You did it!!