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There is an everyday struggle as a parent to wonder if you are doing things right.  You question the decisions and choices you make for your little one.  You will even go to bed at night and wonder if it was all enough or even close to right.

This morning I dropped Cora off at daycare and walked away wondering if we are making the best child care decision.  We have been with our provider for over a month and while it started out fine I feel like things are going a bit downhill.  We like her but I’m not entirely in love with her.

Cora never cries when we drop her off and seems happy to be there but we have had some issues.  She will have long crying spells during the day and will take crappy naps.  I feel like I receive more bad texts from the provider than  good ones throughout the day.  Then there are the times I feel like I have “that baby.”  The crying baby.  I don’t have “that baby” at home.

This morning I was exhausted, frustrated, woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything that came out of my providers mouth pissed me off.  I didn’t care to hear, for the 40th time, about her child’s cough and I didn’t need her questioning me, for the 40th time, about my child’s cold.   She calls the pediatrician at least three times a week and doesn’t understand why I make a call to my chiropractor instead.  My baby has a runny nose and probably some allergy issues like I do but is otherwise happy and I’m not just sticking her on meds.  Basically the provider is a bit of a hypochondriac and it wears me down.

I discovered last week, she wasn’t getting Cora down for enough naps which means she is over-tired a lot. (Hence crying)  I know part of the other problem is the noise level, and she agrees.  The TV is blaring, kids are playing, and we just don’t have that noise level in our home.  Cora can’t eat with commotion around, let alone sleep.  Although yes, I want Cora around other kids, other people to care for her and with that comes noise and change.  That part is fine.

I don’t know if Cora’s crying issues are connected to the provider or just being away from mamma in general.  I don’t know if I’m just being a worry Mom because no matter what, no one else can be me.  I also think my previous experience of being in the child care world means that I have certain expectations.

Overall, I know my baby is fine, safe and being cared for during the day.  75% of me is fine with her current provider.  It is that nagging 25% that is starting to bother me each day.  The thought of finding another provider is overwhelming.  I don’t know if I keep waiting it out and see what changes or do something.  I feel like I have had talk after talk with my provider as well about ideas, changes, thoughts and so on.  So dear internet, help.  Am I losing my mind? What were you experiences with child care in the beginning?