Another Child?

I didn’t know this was a thing but when you your child turns 1, they are no longer a baby and the tides will turn.  Suddenly, just like the day you were married, your friends and family will take a new interest in your sex life and what might result from that…besides an orgasm. It goes something like this:

  •  You will run into a family member or friend or hell, they may corner you at the 1st birthday party itself!
  • The person will exclaim how quick your child’s first year of life has gone.
  • You will nod your head in agreement.
  • They will then give you that look.  You know that look.
  • Out falls the question, “So, when are you having another one?” or “Isn’t it about time for another one?” or for more options “Are you guys trying for that next one about now?”
  • I eye roll.
  • Fight the urge to say that we had sex on the kitchen counter last night but we were just trying to hurry before my sister came home.
  • My only answer is NO.  Firmly.
  • The person will pout.
  • Then there is this weird, almost attitude that pops out from some, “A lot harder than what you thought, huh?”
  • I bite my tongue so a “fuck you” doesn’t roll off of it and change the subject.

I didn’t know this is where people would really start in on us again.  Every single time the question makes me sick to my stomach.  I don’t want to think about starting from square one.  I don’t want to think about the possibilities and have the 9 months of waiting for something bad to happen.  I’m just not mentally there yet.  I may never be.  I have no idea.

Secondly, this child that I have, doesn’t sleep through the night yet.  We are patiently working our way towards table food.  You guys, we are still in a baby stage if you ask me.  There is still a crib she resides in, an infant carrier she still uses and a 1am bottle we are still fighting.  I have zero desire to add to that anytime soon.  We are at a 2-1 ratio so at least 80% of the time the hubby and I are the bosses.

Thirdly, I’m just enjoying where we are at.  I’m enjoying the stage we are at without having fears in the back of my head to create another one and safely bring it to this world.  I just don’t feel like I want to take anything away from where Cora and I are at right now.

I do have to say, I have people politely ask if the older Cora gets does it make us think about trying for another child soon or at all?  Is it the wording?  Maybe.  Is it their tone?  Probably.  I get the curiosity from people.  I really do.  But this is our lives and I’m really happy with where we are at. I don’t know how I will feel about it down the road or when/if I will want another.  Right now, we are happy and that should be all that matters.

12 thoughts on “Another Child?

  1. I was sooooo not ready to even think about another kid until the first one was about 2. There’s so much hands-on time that happens before that age. What possesses people to think that, “Oh, since this one is all grown up, maybe you’re ready for another one?” Very weird. I think they don’t remember how involved you still have to be from 12 months to 2 years. Even 3 years!

    1. I am just assuming that the baby itch will find me, I don’t care to go looking for it! Haha. There is sooo much more hands on still to come, you are right.

      1. I LOVE that you said “I don’t care to go looking for it”! Baby fever is a very real thing…even when I don’t want another one I find myself daydreaming when I see a newborn. Then I hear Z Nugget’s shrieks, and I get snapped back to reality.

      2. I figure the universe will tell me. Until then I’m good! It is amazing how your current kids can snap you right back! Haha! And I’m sure, with what you do, it would be much harder to resist the urge!

  2. Couldn’t agree more. Or what about when you have any symptom of illness that resembles early pregnancy symptoms like nausea? People automatically going “ohhhh are you pregnant?” Recently I had a muscle spasm in my back, which I also had before I knew I was pregnant, and my sister in law goes “didn’t you have a spasm when you were freshly pregnant? maybe you’re pregnant again!” I know that people are excited about the idea of others having sweet little cute baby for their own enjoyment, but these people need to think more before they go pushing their baby making agenda on to still relatively new parents! Even though my 14 month old is walking and is communicating (to an extent) he’s still a baby. Why add another baby to the mix? Enjoy the one you have for a bit and then consider adding another baby in if you survive the first 2 years!

    1. Yes, the excitement. I do get that and that is why I try to give a bit of wiggle room. Hell, I get excited for everyone else and their fresh announcements or possibilities. BUT, NO. Just no. Haha. Let us have a normal tummy ache, back spasms and more without it being a result of baby!

  3. people are so damn nosy!!! Seriously, it’s like, just let you enjoy the time with your ‘new’ child since she still qualifies as that if you ask me LOL

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