Every baby goes through a stranger danger phase. It is completely normal for them to be unsure of their surroundings and not want to be near strangers. It can take them time to warm up to others before showing their true personality. Years of daycare, I’ve seen all types. I’ve also seen the type of kiddos that seem to have zero stranger danger fear, they don’t know a stranger, in fact. I hear that the mama’s of these types of kiddos are always a little more on edge.
Well, it turns out I have one that has extreme stranger danger. Honestly, she always has. When she was real little (just a few months old) and people would want to come over and hold her, she would have none of it. She doesn’t go to Grandparents that she sees every few weeks, never has. We have no babysitters aside from our day care provider and my sister who lives with us. She doesn’t go to friends that come over once a week for wine. It is fine if those people maybe want to sit 10 feet away from her, with us in her direct eye line, and then they can maybe speak a few words to her or push a truck her way. They better not dare try to pick her up or touch her though. We can’t leave her with anyone.
Please don’t tell me it is a phase. It has always been like this. 13 months old and we can’t just drop her with a friend to watch her. She will scream bloody murder until we come back. No, there is no distracting her to calm her down. The girl commits and doesn’t stop. No, it isn’t because she gets a bad vibe off of them. She has that vibe with everyone. We can stay at my mom’s place for 3 days straight and maybe, just maybe, she will let her hold her for 30 seconds before protesting.
Here, hold my kid so I can eat. Nope
Here, hold my kid so I can run to the bathroom. Nope.
Here, let my kid come over for a play date. Nope.
Here, go to the daycare at the gym so I can take a yoga class. Nope.
You would think we were overly attached parents to our child with the way she acts. She independently plays by herself just fine. She goes to daycare just fine. She will take off in the backyard on her own, exploring. She has even started venturing to her room to play by herself without requesting us. But the old lady saying hi to her at the grocery store requires full meltdown.
All of this, is tough. Very tough. Most friends and family don’t get it. The ones that do are great about giving her some space. Others, like my MIL, force themselves at her and it just creates a headache. I don’t want to force her on anyone either. The kid loses it. It isn’t a game where she will get over it because she doesn’t.
Have any of you had this type of kid? It is tough. Exhausting. And it gives me anxiety. We need to find a temporary babysitter while ours is out on maternity leave. Even our current babysitter is scared to death of how she will act somewhere else. I just keep thinking we will grow out of this but she hasn’t and doesn’t look like she is going to anytime soon.