Hold your own baby

A friend of mine recently had herself a wonderful, beautiful, baby girl.  This friend of mine and I go round and round sometimes.  She is the type that I still don’t know why I’m friends with her except to say it has been 12+ years and she is a stage 5 friend clinger.

She recently joined my daughter and I for a lunch out to a restaurant.  I’ve seen her baby a couple of times in her 20 days here on earth.  I happily held her while waiting for our food, my child content to color her menu, while we chatted.  No big deal, aside from the fact that the conversation was a bit all over and was starting to get on my nerves.  Cora’s food came early so I passed the baby back to her mother but the mother shoved her right back at me.  Hold her, cuddle, isn’t it great.  Yes, it is precious holding a baby but my child needs her food set up so take your own kid.

This occurrence, shoving her child at me, kept on.  Hold her, she would demand. She followed me back to my house where I needed to lay my toddler down for a nap and the dog was demanding my attention and she kept shoving that baby at me like it was cocaine.  Listen, I sniffed that baby’s head, I cuddled her, cooed at her but now I have shit to do and my kid needs rocked longer because she has been putting up this new fight when we put her down.

Doesn’t holding her make you want another? You aren’t getting younger.  It was in fact the day of my 35th birthday but thanks for reminding me about my eggs slowly shriveling away.

No, consistently holding your child is actually making my anxiety go through the ceiling because my kid needs me in the other room and the dog is getting worked up because she thinks it is her time since the baby is in said other room “napping.”  So no, it is doing the reverse effect from what you want.  I’m realizing I can’t handle it at all.

Please leave.

She left.

And you know what, this isn’t the first time someone has done this to me! Is this a thing? Shove a baby at someone so their ovaries cry?

I sat and rocked my almost two year old and rubbed the side of her face for 15 minutes until she fell asleep.  Her teeth are killing and she suddenly doesn’t lie down on her own. You know what makes it okay?  I don’t have another child to tend to, aside from the dog, just her.  There isn’t a baby crying in the next room to send my anxiety through the ceiling.  Just her.  We can tackle these hurdles together.

I just literally know that right now, I can’t and don’t want to do it, the second child thing.  I’m cool with that but some apparently aren’t.  So I’m going to go on strike holding other babies.  I can still sniff my own child’s head and it smells good:)

12 thoughts on “Hold your own baby

  1. I hear you on this!!! My priority is always going to be my kid, just as other parents priority should be their kid. And so, ya, I’ll hold your kid when my kid doesn’t need or want me. And similarly to you, no amount of baby holding is going to magically make me re-evaluate our decision not to go through the adoption process again anytime soon.

  2. Not cool of your friend at all…. 😔

    Actually for me personally I’m not keen on holding other people’s newborn babies full stop!

  3. I like my 5 year age gap between the two because it makes all this way easier. No pressure but FYI. Baby plus independent kid equals less stress. 😜

  4. People do this?? My theory is that it is up to someone to ASK to hold your baby. Or if you are desperately needing two free hands because you have to dig through the diaper bag to to find the bum cream or soother then that’s a time where it’s ok to do the shove. But still ask first! I held a 6 week old baby the other week while H destroyed the house around me and it was enough birth control for me for a few years. Moms who can do a young toddler plus a small baby must be some kind of amazing superheros… because I definitely am not capable. Anxiety levels shoot through the roof almost daily with me and handling my mostly well behaved son. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be able to handle two.

    1. Yes, people do this to me constantly. For the most part, sure, I would love to hold a baby but then I can hand it back knowing that thing isn’t going to sleep that night and hell to the no, I can’t handle a second kid!

  5. I’m with you on the whole “I like my kids, but that doesn’t mean I like other people’s kids.” I love seeing moms with their newborns because it gets me excited about our upcoming addition but at the same time, I fear the lack of sleep, the sore boobs, the anxiety that comes with having a brand new baby. I don’t really like holding other people’s kids…
    I was talking to my friend this weekend who has decided that she is totally cool with “one and done” and I was so happy for her! She has been having a lot of guilt about it, mostly because of societal pressure and it just sucks!!

    1. I’m all for holding a baby but I’m even more all for handing it back right now. I do look at some women with their new baby and feel all the emotions for them. Even when you told me about your second it brought up all the happy feels but then my kid and her TEETHING and I’m all nope, I can’t do it.

  6. I’m with you on the whole “I like my kids, but that doesn’t mean I like other people’s kids.” I love seeing moms with their newborns because it gets me excited about our upcoming addition but at the same time, I fear the lack of sleep, the sore boobs, the anxiety that comes with having a brand new baby. I don’t really like holding other people’s kids…
    I was talking to my friend this weekend who has decided that she is totally cool with “one and done” and I was so happy for her! She has been having a lot of guilt about it, mostly because of societal pressure and it just sucks!!

  7. This is SO bizarre to me. I’ve literally never seen this before – I think your “friend” is just a bit off! People who want to hold a baby will ask. Weird.

    1. She is also a seriously pushy friend. To be honest, there is a whole back story and she pushes this child on everyone. But I have had a few others lightly do this to me. Ick.

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