On Monday, during a play date at the kids gym, I hastily picked up my kid and left in a hurry. I was done, over it. I called my husband on the way home and announced I was officially done with these mothers, foot down. Fuck it. Also, I proclaimed my love to him and thanked him for everything he does, in case I hadn’t told him lately. Things he says to me in return on a regular basis, this is not a one way street. Later that night I made sure we had a damn good round of sex. Two way street.
First, let me back up a few hours though…
I wasn’t even through the doors of the kids gym when one of the mothers started in on her “crap” husband. I’ve had a hard enough time anyways with this particular mom but damn it, it is hard to find moms to have play dates with. She was bitching about her husband not letting her spend money, her husband not letting her get her kids a swing set, her husband not helping, her mother fucking husband and on and on and on and then came mother number 2 in the doors and then they fueled one another’s misery.
If only their husbands would…
do more dishes
help more with the kids
understand how exhausted they are
take them on more trips
make more money
work fewer hours
let them spend more money
look at them like Prince Harry looks at his new bride
…then maybe their marriage would be better. Then maybe they would be happier. One even made their husband watch the royal wedding with her so maybe he would learn how to look at his wife better.
none of that really happens because did you hear their friend is pregnant and OH JUST YOU WAIT till she has that baby and her marriage starts going down the shitter. Because that is what happens when the honeymoon is over and you have kids.
They look at me….what about your husband?
They suddenly realized I hadn’t been offering any husband hatred in front of our children or ya know, AT ALL.
Side note-Not one of these women has anything to bitch about, they have good husbands and this happens every time we get together. This isn’t one rough day out of all the good days.
I then offered my advice/lost my shit a bit, being the only divorced one standing around, knowing that grass isn’t always greener but perhaps you should water your own fucking grass. Perhaps you should be grateful and see your husband as your ride or die, your best friend, and your partner in life and parenting. You know, what you try to portray on Facebook to everyone SHARON. Maybe you should learn that marriage isn’t perfect and it takes work every day, not when their work hours slow down, not when the kids are grown, not when whatever phase you are in passes- EVERY DAY. And why should your husband put work into it if you aren’t willing? If you aren’t willing to speak up and say something or do something??? Why can’t these people also look in the mirror and take some responsibility in their own marriage because I know who had an affair in that marriage and who didn’t KAREN.
Here’s the thing, if you aren’t happy, fix it. Talk to your spouse, find a therapist, find a compromise, read some helpful books, or SOMETHING. If not, there is the door, try divorce, try separation but for the love, remember you are teaching your children what a marriage should look like. I cannot stress that enough.
They shrugged their shoulders at me. Rolled their damn eyes at me. We can’t all be perfect like you, they say.
I will not be criticized for being proud of my husband and marriage. So I took my child and left.
Unfortunately this entire situation is more common in my circle of friends than I care to admit and the older we get, the more annoyed I get by it. I have had friends go through some damn tough time in their marriages, MYSELF included and they vent to me, I support them (and their spouse), they support me (and my spouse), but I find that very different from husband bashing. The things that women say about their husbands… I ask them if they would say to their mans face. How would they feel if their husbands talked about them like that?
I’m not saying our marriage is perfect by any means but I won’t be put down for it. Life is short and I’m not going to go through it fighting against the main person who is suppose to be my rock through it all. Sure I yell at him for snoring, hitting his snooze button 5 times at 3am, dumping a bag of chips down his throat and I may need to vent about a tough time we are having but I refuse to take him for granted and bash him behind his back. Nope. Our marriage means more to me than that and damn it, I’m tired of being around people like that.
We are moving on in the play date department. Anyone want to move to the Midwest and hang out with me on Monday’s? I’m open to conversations that include reality television and wine:)