Monthly Archives: September 2018

I hate bedtime with my child

19 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Kids, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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There I said it, I hate putting my child to bed.

Yes, it is true.  That magical time that parents talk about at the end of their day, I fucking hate it.  I know, I’m in the minority and some of you are sitting there thinking I have got to be the worst parent on earth.  I get why you might like it, I used to like it.  Past tense.

I also believe all problems in the middle east would be solved if we sent toddlers to negotiate with the terrorists.  Because seriously, the tactics these kids have ALL day and then it comes to bedtime and there is a whole other level of crazy and seriously, I’m all for world peace.

My toddler is a good kid. Seriously, as far as toddlers go, I can’t complain too often but every mamma has her limit and mine is at the end of the day.  It is at the end when I spent all day patiently repeating myself to the point I might as well have been talking to a rock.

Put your shoes on.  Put your shoes on.  Seriously, please put your shoes on.  Are you listening?  Did you hear me?  Put your shoes on. Fine, don’t wear shoes.

Eat dinner.  Take a bite of dinner.  Aren’t you hungry?  Eat your dinner.  Do not give it to the dog.  Do you want dinner? Fine, go to bed starving.

Go to the bathroom.  Go to the bathroom.  Go to the bathroom.  Dude, pee before bed.  Seriously, the bathroom, go there.  I will give you candy corn if you go pee.  FUCKING GO TO THE bathroom. Fine, pee the bed.

Lets get your pajamas on.  Put your pajamas on.  Can you please put your foot in.  No, it isn’t naked time.  No running. Get back here.  Put your pajamas on.  Fine, go to bed naked.

THE ENTIRE DAY goes this way.

So by the time we make it to her room and all things have been negotiated and she may or may not be dressed and may or may not be fed and I have run through all my patience…we sit down to read books.  She knows it is three books but has already began negotiations for 20.  As I read she demands food because she is now hungry even though five minutes prior she had half of a pop tart and crackers. (Thinking I’m ahead of the game)  We read three books and I turn off the light. She turns back on the light to get a Band-Aid because suddenly there is an owie.  Light back off.  Into bed to sing songs. She flails around, farts, demands she has to poop.  Into the bathroom.  Asks again for food. She evil laughs.  Back to bed.  Lights off.  Lights on for socks that we refused when we first came to the room.  Lights off.  Begin to sing songs.  She sings over my singing.  Demands I start from the beginning because she couldn’t hear me over herself.  Cover her up, she kicks them off.  Refuses hug till I make my way to door.  Always at the door, demands hug.  Hand on door knob.  Demands kiss.  Halfway out the door. Begins crying because Wade at daycare pushed her today.  She feels the need to discuss.  I make it out the door.  Turn on monitor.  She announces she needs covered up again.  As I head back out the door it is like she knows I’m going to break so she sweetly says “Gooooooodniiiiiiiight mamma I love you!” Evil laugh.

Nothing about that was fun.  Some have told me to just give in and enjoy it for she will grow up soon enough.  I find zero enjoyment in this.  I’m actually over it.  I give 100% all day and I just want her to go to bed.  Yes, that I love you at the end is fucking precious but I’m ready to go down and workout, to have my own time.  Selfish some may say? Sure.  But it is the cold hard truth.

Anyone else with me?

 

 

If one is pregnant, then both should be

11 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Baby, Kids, My Family, Parenting, Pregnant, Uncategorized

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Over Labor Day weekend my SIL and brother announced they are pregnant with baby #2! My nephew was born 4 months after Cora was so it will be exciting to be graced with a new baby to sniff and snuggle in this family.  I knew they were having a bunch of sex trying for another baby so this wasn’t a shock to any of us.  It was nothing but happy news all around.

Fast forward a few weeks later and I’m learning that people suddenly think because her uterus is in full use, now mine should be as well?  As I tell other family and friends about the news, one of the first things they say is “Does that mean you are going to have another soon?”  “Are you guys trying?”  “Why haven’t you had another then?”

WHY?

Once more, WHY PEOPLE?

My answer each time has been something along the lines of, WINE. Or, her kid popped out sleeping through the night, mine still doesn’t.  JUST SAYIN.

I get everyone thought it was precious that we were pregnant the first time together but it isn’t a requirement for round two. I was perfectly happy to sit and sip my glass of wine, listening to how she is feeling this time around.

Look, we don’t know if we are done or not.  We have an idea of what our path to another baby might be but that could change. Either way, can’t my SIL have her moment?  I’m pretty sure it isn’t a competition here.

Honestly, it was hard to enjoy my nephew when he was little.  I had a stage-five clinger, non-sleeping child, while my nephew was a dream baby.  If my child was detached from me, I sure as hell didn’t have a desire to hold him.  I’m looking forward to sniffing this new one, in the Spring, right after I return from our adults trip to the islands, and then handing him or her right back to their parents!

Last call for the binky

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Kids, Parenting, Toddler Life, Uncategorized

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There are some things, I think we can all agree as parents, that are hard to let go of.  For me, it was the binky.  Cora has been attached to that thing from day one. I remember the day at the hospital when she first took to it and I told my husband that it had to be gone by the time she was three.  That was my cut off date.

Fast forward to last March where we cut the binky time down to just naps and then just bedtime without any real issue.  Her turning three was still forever away, in October, so I didn’t think much of it.  Slowly though, that nighttime habit became well, annoying.  She didn’t need it, we all knew that but suddenly I was having a hard time cutting her off from it.  I wasn’t sure why. Actually I did know why, it was the last “baby” thing she had.

Cora has been fully potty trained for some time now.  She sleeps in her toddler bed.  Bottles were long gone years ago.  She has conversations.  We have been working on preschool workbooks and writing her name.  Hell, the kid can make her own waffle and is a pro at doing her own laundry. For a kiddo who hit all the milestones early and acts much older than she is, I was holding on to the last little piece of my baby.

So we had a talk, Cora and I.  The binky had to go and bribery was our plan. I took her to Target to pick out a new baby doll that she wanted and explained that it had to replace the bink.  She was on board.  We printed out a picture of the bribery, I mean, baby doll and stuck it to the fridge.  Three nights.  That is how long she had to go without bink and then we could head back to Target and pick up that new doll.  She did it with zero questions, complaints or whining.  Doll purchased, binkies in trash and we moved on with life all before that three year mark.

It was bittersweet for me. Non kiddo people look at me like I’m nuts but we all have our thing.  That kid went and grew up on me, so fast, just like they say they do.  I think part of me struggles with not knowing if we will have that chance to do it all again.  Do we even want to do it again? Who knows?

How did you end your binky habit?