There was a small situation that came from Cora’s first birthday party, involving social media and well, my child. Let me preface this by saying, I’m not to bothered by people posting photos of her. Everyday I post a photo of her on Instagram (private account) and occasionally on Facebook. We have a lot of family, all over, that love to see her photos and they will let me hear about it if I miss a day. So in general, I’m not bothered.
The day of her party we obviously took a ton of pictures and then tossed our phones to the side when we weren’t using them. I’m not one to post photos of an outing/event until later in the evening or after said outing/event because I’m enjoying the moment. No big deal. However, at one point during her birthday party, my Husband waved his phone at me to get me to look at my own phone. He was pointing out that our Facebook was blowing up with notifications. Someone at the party was already posting pictures of Cora. Cora with them, Cora eating her first cupcake, Cora opening gifts.
Later that evening, with just a few friends left, we were drinking and someone brought it up. The friend that posted them has some boundary issues and I realized all over again I was flat out hurt by this and it takes a lot to hurt my feelings. I wanted to post her first birthday photos first. Then others could. That seems to be a general understanding amongst my friends with kids but not with her. For the record she has three of her own kids. There are moments that I want to be the one to put the photos out there first. Is it petty? Maybe. But once again, the boundary lines are tough with this person. So I think it is compounding.
There was something else to it too. My Mom didn’t get a single photo with Cora that day. Cora isn’t a big fan of people and hates to be pushed to sit with people. Obviously it was an overwhelming day. No one fought her for a photo, including my Mom, except for this friend. So congrats, you posted a photo, with my child, on her first birthday, in a moment that you bribed her for, but my Mom didn’t. It just nagged at me. So much so that my Husband then posted something to Facebook, which is very unlike him, and all hell broke loose. I made him take it down and she texted me knowing damn well it was about her.
So I explained to her that my feelings were hurt and apologized for the Facebook post and so forth. Long story short, she must have missed the point completely. In fact, I know she did. The problem being, she likes to hijack my life.
There was a time, before I had Cora, I took a break from Facebook. It was life changing. I wish it were that easy now. I then would feel bad for the family that is only on there and not on Instagram. We are talking the grandparents, great aunts and uncles, second cousins and people who truly look forward to the videos and pictures. This is their way of seeing her grow up and isn’t it great that we live in a time that they can see this! It does come with us price though.
But seriously, give me my moments with my kid first. Is that too much to ask?