My first marriage lasted a little over four years, although we were together for almsot 10 years. I am grateful for every minute of time with my ex-husband and don’t regret that marriage. For if it wasn’t for him my current marriage wouldn’t be what it is.
While it was hard work to look at my first marriage in depth I did just that after my divorce. I saw what I did wrong, how I failed him as a wife, what I did want or didn’t want in a future husband. I took all that to dating and then to my current marriage. Just a few months in to this marriage and we don’t take our marriage for granted at all.
The biggest thing I learned from my divorce was communication or lack thereof. That is the one thing I strive for in my marriage above all else. If you lose communication then everything else is bound to go. It can be hard some days to sit down and have the “how was your day” conversation but the time is there if we find it. It is easy for us to come home from work and the gym, make supper and sit in front of the TV. A few weeks ago we realized that had to quit and I wanted less TV and more us.
Husband now sits at the bar of the kitchen and talks to me when I make supper. We then actually sit at the table while we eat with no TV on. We never run out of things to talk about and we have come to realize it is actually a good stress reliever. It is so easy to zone out at night on the computer or TV but we are getting use to having less of both and more real time.
Something so simple can go a long ways but each day passes and we lose time if we don’t pay attention. I can’t wait for the next whole day off or vacation together to reconnect, we need to try and do it every day.
What do you do to communicate in your relationship?