Building an immunity

One of the pros to putting Cora in daycare was for her to build her immune system up.  To literally have my kid pick up a few colds and other germs so that her little body could learn to fight these things off.  We have manage the flu bug, HFM disease and a few colds.  Nothing we couldn’t get through and I feel like she has been sick less than what I anticipated.

What I didn’t anticipate was how sick the Hubs and I would be.  Seriously.  Apparently we are also building our immune systems back up.  I used to work in daycare.  I used to have the immune system of a steel box.  I haven’t had a flu shot in 10+ years and never had the flu during the time.  The only thing I managed to contact was a sinus infection due to my allergies.

But then I went and put my baby in daycare. I have never been so sick.  Apparently wine doesn’t kill all germs?  Flu, colds, and now bronchitis.  To be fair, the flu would have happened with or without that stupid flu shot, as it was July when it hit our house.  The Hubs and I are sick more often than the baby which means she drags home the germs, licks us and then we are dying the next day.

So, so gross.

No one warned me of this.

Just to be clear, I’m on my third week of bronchitis and have made two trips to the doctor while begging for all the drugs. I have spent no less than $200 on this sort of fun.

So back to the pros of daycare.  The baby builds an immune system and so do Mom and Dad. #blessed #eyeroll

This is 10 months

(I forgot to write about 9 months, but it did happen!)

Here we are in the middle of 10 months having just celebrated a nice Labor day weekend.  I spent the past two years, at this time, being pregnant, so it was an odd feeling to look back on.

We entered the 10th month while on our trip to New York.  The actual day may have been spent going to a couple of wineries and a wedding because we are good parents like that. I’m certain she learned a few things about wine for her 21st birthday.  On this trip we also learned that sharing a hotel rom with her is zero fun.  Because when someone should be asleep and you suddenly hear Mamma? Dada? …. Ruins all the fun.

We are slowly getting better at the eating thing.  She is loving jars of veges 90% of the time.  She actually prefers fruit in the real form and not in a jar.  Some days she prefers none of it and will just have puffs.  I pick my fights is what I’m saying.

We are still at 3-4oz of a bottle of formula at a time, except the middle of the night she takes a 6oz.  While she has been using a sippy cup for months now, with water, we have started giving her the formula in it now.  I’m working on weeding out the day time bottles and then we will work on those nighttime bottles.  I would love to be done with bottles by her birthday but I’m realistic and will just say that I would like to be done with daytime bottles by then.

Speaking of nighttime, she still gets up once a night around 1am.  Okay, sometimes twice.  In the past few weeks she has been in a weird habit of getting up around 10:30pm for a cuddle.  It’s like she knows we are heading to bed and needs to make herself known. Can she just please sleep through the night now?

This past weekend we were at my parents home and hanging out in the living room with everyone.  My brother said Wouldn’t it be funny if she just took off walking? My sister then puts Cora between her and I and off she goes.  Right there, she took her first few steps.  We hollered for my Mom and Husband to come in and watch.  Thankfully Cora obliged and did it again and again.  Then went back to crawling like nothing happened.  So we will be working on that.

Other things to note:

  • We are finally down to just two naps a day.  Morning and afternoon.
  • I think she may have finally hit 18lbs and is still in 9 month clothing.
  • Still only has the two bottom teeth.
  • Finally clapped.
  • Says mamma, dada, ball, hi, bye.  Since she loves to repeat words I’m pretty sure she also said shit the other day.
  • Still is super attached and has stranger danger like crazy.
  • She is really into climbing everything.  She moves her toys around to climb on them to climb up on the window ledges, couch, ottoman, or whatever sounds good.  Lord, we will have a broken something by the time she is 2 at this rate.

I hate to admit this but we are slowly moving into Fall.  Over the weekend we picked the first apples from my mother’s apple tree.  In the evenings the air held that crispness that tells you the seasons are changing.  I’m still holding a death grip to these last warm days of summer.  (Which technically, per the calendar, it is.) What is even more strange is that at this time last year, I was willing the calendar to move out of summer for the first time, in well, ever.  I was willing my due date to get here.  I was willing October.  I was willing the end of pregnancy.  Now, I can say, I am asking it to slow down even more than normal.  Now it is the end of summer and closing in on her first birthday.  A birthday we I have started planning for. (I have no self control on Etsy)

I’m holding tight to this last bit of her first year.  I’ve indulged in it all.  I have no regrets.  But as they say, the time flies.

Baby Proofing

If I could sum up baby proofing in a nut shell I would say it is not for us.  There are aisles of locks, magnets, fasteners and other things, in every store, to keep your child from falling, bruising, climbing, and the works.  Essentially you can try to turn your home into a safe bubble for your child to live in.  But once again, it really isn’t for us.

I recently had someone tell me they didn’t even bother unpacking most of their stuff when they moved into their new home.  They just assumed the baby would get into it all so why bother.  I’ve had some say they are just lazy at home and would rather not worry about their kid getting into anything.  I guess we take a different approach.  I would rather my baby learn what is hers and what is not.  What is a “pretty” and what is a toy.  What is a “no-no” and what is not.  Sure, it is a bitch teaching her these things but I don’t want my home to be void of shit for the next couple of years just so she can have the run of it.  Plus, she doesn’t pay the mortgage, I do and I want my nice crap on the shelves.

Also, I want to go to another persons home, with my child, and not be mortified by her throwing their pretty items around because she has never seen such things.  Basically because people have had their kids do that at my home.  The parents go around “baby-proofing” like they are completely appalled I would own a picture frame.

We did a few of the basics.  When we built our home, we put in safe outlets, so we don’t need the covers.   There is a gate at the top of the stairs that goes to the basement.  We put cabinet locks for the under the sink cabinet with all of the poisonous stuff.  And just the other day I had it with her pulling out the drawer under the stove and smashing her fingers so I put a lock on it. Otherwise, I have candles and pictures frames out, dog food bowls at her level, and lighters within her reach.  Okay, I’m kidding on the last one there.  And the candles aren’t lit, just for the record.  There have been a lot of no’s and a lot of redirecting but she is getting the hang of it.  Sure we may have to add a few safety things here and there (like the stove lock) as times goes on but I refuse to turn my house into a bubble.

Sometimes she opens the cabinets and pulls out bowls and Ziploc bags.  Sometimes she bounces her head off the tile floor in a tantrum. And gasp, we have objects with sharp corners.  But all that shit exists out in public, or at friends homes, or hotel rooms.  I can’t put my kid in a bubble wherever we go.

Maybe there are parents reading this saying Oh, just you wait. Maybe one day I will be running the aisles of Babies R Us and purchasing every safety device possible.  For now, I think she is learning.

How far do you go in the baby proofing world?

Baby Proofing

 

First Flight-10 months old

This past weekend we attempted yet another first in Cora’s life.  Her first airplane ride.  I can honestly say I had more anxiety for the 5 hour drive we took back in July versus this plane ride.  Mainly because of her hatred for the car seat.  We were heading to Rochester, NY for a wedding and it required two flights because we live in the middle of no where.

I prepared by reading up on blogs and any other helpful article but it is pretty much all the same.  Bottle/binky for take off and landing.  New toys for distraction.  Snacks.  Plan around naps.  Cross your fingers.  It turns out you can read whatever but your kid will do whatever they want.

We flew out of our tiny airport where a security line doesn’t exist.  We have all the TSA in the world to help put things on the scanner belt and wait patiently on us.  I did wear Cora in her Ergo through security while the Husband had her infant car seat/stroller combo that conveniently held her diaper bag and our extra backpack.  All we had to pull out were her bottles of formula for them to inspect and that was about it.  Shoes back on, formula back in the bag, and we were off on the other side.  Wasn’t that bad.

I will say, since we were gate checking our stroller and car seat we purchased these bags from Babies R Us.  They saved our car seat and stroller from getting completely disgusting while on the plane but folded happily back up into themselves when not in use.  I think they are totally worth it.  And yes, I found taking her own car seat easier than renting one from the car rental place.  I may change my mind as she goes to a different car seat.

For the most part, my kiddo wasn’t bothered by take off or landing.  In fact, she wasn’t bothered by much of anything.  She behaved, played, enjoyed her new toys, licked the window, waved at fellow passengers, and was quite happy at having Mom and Dad’s full attention.

Our largest problem came when she was over tired.  She isn’t good about falling asleep because she might miss something.  So I won’t lie, there were meltdowns before she would give in and fall asleep.  Meltdowns that maybe lasted 15 minutes tops.  Twice a flight attendant gave me free wine once she was asleep in my arms.  Amen.  Out of all four flights total we received zero dirty looks.  Some gave a silent thumbs up once she fell asleep but that was about it.

Also, remember, those flight attendants are there to help.  They don’t want you to have a crazy baby either. They let the Husband stand in the back for a few minutes to get Cora to sleep without so much distraction.  I tell ya, they have a job I couldn’t do. But also keep in mind, they are not there to cater to your child.  They have first class to cater to.

I have to say, I was actually shocked by how nice people were in general.  On our very first flight a Mom sat right next to us and eased any worry I had.  She was on her very first flight without her now 2 year old daughter and now stuck with my kid.  She was headed for a girls weekend and we chatted the whole way.  She has flown a lot with her little one and gave me all of her advice.  I could have hugged her.  No one glared.  No one rolled their eyes at the baby on the flight.  In fact most people said, “Hey, I was a baby once.  I bet I cried a few times!” And lastly, the best comment people can make when you get off the flight “She did great!”

Exhale.

I won’t say it was easy.  Delays suck.  Lack of sleep sucks.  Travel makes for a long day no matter what. All the germs suck.  Tight cramped places, even with a happy baby, suck.  Wine served on planes sucks but I won’t complain because free wine when desperately needed should never be complained about.  The main thing is, we survived, we learned a few things and we had a great time.

A few great things to pass along:

  • Even though it was warm out, we dressed her in pants and socks because reality is, a crawler needs to stretch their legs and that place happens to be on the nasty airport floor.  Bring an extra outfit and socks for baby.
  • If your child is a binky baby, remember plenty of extras.
  • I cannot say this enough- baby wipes and hand sanitizer.  We went through so many wipes. Because baby hands and airport floor.
  • You have to swallow your fear and just know that All. The. Germs. will happen.  All of them.  You can’t stop it.
  • Bathe your child immediately once you hit the hotel.
  • Be polite to your flight attendant and those around you. Do not let your baby hit their seat or grab their hair.
  • Think ahead about your own clothing choice, especially if wearing your baby most of the time.  Flip flops were a must to make security easier.
  • Keep your shit organized.  No one wants to stand in line behind your while you dig around for your ticket.
  • We purchased this Fisher-Price backpack diaper bag and have been using it when we go places more often than my shoulder diaper bag.  Makes life easier in an airport and I love the pockets and storage.  It does have a cooler on the side for two 4 oz bottles.
  • We also used one of these cooler bags.  Comes with an ice pack that is allowed, by TSA,  to cool formula.  It only holds three 4 oz bottles but worked.
  • My husband also brought an extra backpack that held the new fun toys.  All not loud and not bulky but new to baby.  We also had an extra shirt for each of us because you never know when poop or puke can happen.  From the baby, not my Husband.  To add to that, have a plastic sack stored somewhere in case of those accidents.
  • Baby food and extra spoons.  I accidentally threw away a baby spoon instead of a wipe.  Ooops!
  • Don’t over pack.  You have to haul all that shit around.  Our two backpacks were easy for us to place below the seats in front of us and we gate checked the stroller and car seat.  My Ergo, when not in use, was also easy to shove into a backpack as those weren’t overly full. I didn’t carry my purse, just wallet.  We obviously checked our main luggage.
  • Tag team with your spouse. Give one another breaks.
  • Stop for wine/beer/food on your layover and don’t bitch about the price.  One glass tastes so good and is so worth it.
  • Check to see what your airline rules are for infants. I can say Delta was a bit more relaxed than United when it came to wearing her, standing in the back, etc.

Lastly, go with the flow.  It is hard to do with our Type A personalities but we didn’t set the bar too high so we didn’t feel like we were failing.  There were so many times we were shocked at how well she did.  This kid always surprises us! Just don’t ask how she slept in the hotel. That is an entirely other blog post.

If only I would listen to my baby

If you would like to go back in time you can read about my anxiety and issues with my current daycare situation.  Basically, I just haven’t been in love with it.  In July, my current provider had a scheduled week off and I had to find other care for my child.  Let me back this up and just say, to make it more of a pain in my ass, she took off a Wednesday to a Wednesday.  No, this wasn’t for any reason other than a week off.  It is hard enough to find back up child care but to do it with odd days like that is hard enough.

I was very proud of myself to find a back up provider.  I’ve known her for years, someone in my yoga class, the original person I wanted my child to go to for daycare and she was available to take my kiddo those wacky days. We even went for an evening to her house so Cora could check the place out and we could get into more detail about how she does things.  I left on cloud 9.  This was the provider we had been dreaming of! The one to fix my problems! And oh, look, she can take her full-time this winter! Everything was working out wonderfully.

I dropped off Cora for her first day there and then she shot me the look of horror as I walked out the door.  I walked to my truck and could hear her screaming at the top of her lungs, wondering why I just left her with strangers.  Oh, my mamma heart about went right back in there and said fuck it, I’ll stay home with her.  But I knew she would be fine.  They always quit crying 5 minutes later and she will make new friends!

Hell, no.

I walked back in, later that day, and I could hear my child wailing.  She was presented to me, red-eyed, no pants, and still wearing her lunch.  I was told she was a bit of a handful but that is okay! She will get used to it!  My heart sank.  I looked in her bag and saw she only drank 2 bottles.  2?! She normally goes through 6.  6 because she picks through them, an ounce here 3 ounces there.

We both cried on the way home and I rocked her to sleep that night and prayed for a sign from God.  I was questioning my mamma skills.  11pm God gave me a sign in the form of a vomiting child that didn’t need to go to daycare the next two days.

Then came the following week. We had two days to make it through and I had convinced myself that the prior tough day had been to her starting to not feel well.  Needless to say, those two days were not as bad as the first but they weren’t magical.  She hardly napped or ate.  She didn’t want to make new friends and came home wearing her lunch everyday.  For fucks sake did no one have a wash cloth at some point throughout the day?!  I walked away that last day and felt defeated.  Maybe this wasn’t the answer to my problems.  And if this wasn’t the answer, then what was?

The following day she went back to her regular daycare.  She clapped when we walked in the door and lunged to the floor.  She went to her boyfriend and mauled him.  He in turn gave her his binky.  They chased one of the older girls around and she gave no fucks when I walked out the door.  She slept hard when she took naps.  Ate all her food and was completely normal when I picked her up.

So you know what, maybe I need to put aside my own issues, my own future worries, my own personal debates and listen to what my child is telling me.  She is happy every day.  She has friends.  She likes it there.  Sure, she can’t talk and tell me everything about her day but if I stop and listen close enough, I can figure it out.  I’m walking away taking this as a lesson.

This is 8 months

The eighth month has come and gone.  She has officially been on the outside as long as the inside.  How weird.

We wrapped up her eighth month with a family camping trip, in Kansas, at Eisenhower State Park, for a family reunion.  (Highly recommend the place if you are in the area.) This was Cora’s longest car trip at around 5 hours total and didn’t do too bad considering she hates her car seat.

We aren’t huge campers but we rented a nice camper and set off to meet up with the rest of the families.  We had an absolute blast and I have to say, camping with a baby wasn’t that bad at all.  Her pack n play fit perfectly in the camper, we had AC, her monitor reached around the area, her Go Pod once again became a lifesaver and she doesn’t venture off of her large picnic blanket so we were able to contain her fairly well. Also, gallons of sunscreen and bug spray were used.

While we had a tiny tub with our extremely tiny shower, I just showered while holding the baby.  Hilarity ensued is all I can say.  Water everywhere, shower curtain being pulled down and me naked in the tiniest shower alive with a slippery baby who thought this was the funniest thing we have ever done together.  My Husband was of no help as he laughed his ass off at us.

Elf

Good memories.

This past month we took her to the lakes, swimming, for the first time and it was a huge hit.  Thank goodness.  We purchased this baby floatie and it has been well worth the money.  She can chill in there for hours and it keeps the sun off of her.  We can happily float on ours right next to her and everyone is good!

Other general items- still crawling, pulling herself up, letting go of things, so close to walking, popped one more tooth (2 total now), starting to only wake once a night, and getting better with the jar food.  She says bye-bye, dada, mamma, and growls like a dinosaur on command.  Because that is an important life feature. We go in for her 9 months appointment Friday but I think she is around 18lbs and is currently in 9 month clothing.

We are still in the stranger danger phase.  When does this end?  Anyone?  She is fine going to me, Hubby, my sister and her babysitter.  Also, my ex-boyfriend who was at the family reunion.  Long story.  Otherwise, she lets everyone hold her for two seconds and that is it.  I feel bad for Grandparents and friends who really want to interact with her but I can’t force it and some of them have a hard time accepting this phase.

Otherwise, we are on cruise for this summer.  I’m really proud of how well we are sticking to our summer goals and really enjoying time together as a family.

How’s your summer goals?

This Marriage of Mine

You know, I had this post about how having a baby hasn’t killed my marriage.  People warn you of that, how having a baby changes your marriage. Of course it does! So does building a home, losing a job, changing jobs, getting married, losing a parent, moving states and a million other things.  Everything that happens in life changes your marriage, not just having a baby.  If having a child ruins your marriage, well, you didn’t have a good one to start with.  Truth.

Here I thought we were doing fine.  I mean, we have our days and nights, for that matter, where we get snippy and annoyed with one another.  We have resentment when one feels like they are doing more than the other, waking up more at night, changing more diapers, working longer hours or has more snot on their shirt.  Our sex life isn’t non-existent, it isn’t what it was before but nothing that makes me worry.  We carve out time for sex, dates, talks that don’t include just the baby and the hubby reminds me that I’m beautiful and I make sure to smack his ass and tell him he looks good on the way out the door.

I thought we were good.

I thought  I was juggling this parenting, marriage, work, hubby crazy hours thing okay.

Apparently not.

Cue Sunday night.

Cue pure exhaustion from a baby with hand, foot, mouth disease.  Nights of no sleep.  Trying to make the best of Father’s Day for the hubby.

Cue wine that went straight to my head.

Cue a husband that made an off-hand remark that just snapped me.  Any other time I would have laughed. I took the baby for a bath instead and cried.

By the time we went to bed, well, I don’t know how the talk started.  We shouldn’t have had a talk like this when I was this tired and drinking but he kept going.

We went to bed with all these words and questions hanging in the air.  I spent the next couple of days with a sick, clingy, baby and he left to work out of town. This left me with time to be pissed, over think, be frustrated and annoyed.

We didn’t discuss it on the phone or via text because that is a rule of ours.  Serious talks need to be had face to face.  So when he came home last night, we put the baby to bed, handed the monitor to my sister and took off on a walk to hash things out.

One mile later, we were back on the same page.  We had ventured too far off the page from one another.  While I’m good about verbalizing what is wrong, he is not as good.  Mainly because if he doesn’t stop and think about his words, they come out really wrong and create more of an issue.  Which is what happened Sunday night.

A mile after that we were back to normal, catching up on the past couple of days.  We were back to where I knew our marriage was at but sometimes we need to stop and self check a bit better with one another.

We have chosen to be very mindful of having a marriage separate from being parents.  We don’t want to lose “us” in the day to day of raising a child.  Some days that is harder than others when a baby consumes a lot of our energy and time but we make it work.  But what happens in our marriage influences us as parents and that changes our family as a whole.

How has having a kiddo changed your marriage?

family