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My OB came into my hospital room the day we were to head home with our fresh newborn.  She took pictures with Cora, went over my discharge information, and told me to think about what birth control I wanted to use once I came in for my follow-up appointment with her in 6 weeks.

Shut the fucking door?! Birth control?! Have you seen the state of my vagina doc?  I just pushed out a human!  Isn’t that birth control?!

I laughed, ignored her and went on my way.  Well, eventually my vagina went back to a normal state and my Husband and I were itching for the clearance to get back to proper sex.  I suddenly remembered the very real topic of birth control my doc mentioned.  I started wracking my brain for the last time I was even on birth control.  All those years of trying to remember a form of birth control while I was banging on having sex that my 33 year old self is very jealous of.

It still seemed weird to have the conversation with my Husband but we had it none the less and off to my 6 week OB appointment I went.  The doc asked what my plan was going to be and it was tougher than what I thought.  Years of not getting pregnant and doing everything in your power to get pregnant…..now I’m trying not to get pregnant all over again?  I needed to pour a drink to wrap my head around all of this.  But I couldn’t because I was sitting in front of the doc, naked from the waist down, feeding Cora a bottle because of course now was the best time to decide to break schedule and want to eat.

We took that moment to discuss how the husband and I do want one more kid.  My younger, first married, never divorced, naive self, wanted kids 4-5 years apart and to be done with all that business by the old age of 30.  I also thought I would have won the lottery by now, so disappointing.  My 33-year-old self smacked my younger self upside the head and asked the doctor how long I could hold off trying again knowing my age and issues.  We discussed how no matter what, I should be mentally ready to want to be pregnant again and not be trying to get pregnant due to pressure because that sure isn’t going to help.  According to her, waiting two years or even three is perfectly fine.  From there she said we can try on our own for awhile or go straight back to the fertility doctor.  We just have to be mindful of our challenges.  No shit.

We are truly in no hurry to have another child.  Would I like one more, yes.  But there is no way I could do it all over again anytime soon.  I don’t feel like we are complete with just one but if that is all we have, that is okay.  Right now I just want to enjoy this baby.  Enjoy these moments and I’ll trust that I’ll just know when it is time again.