I remember reading an article somewhere when I first had Cora. It stated that having a newborn does not mean your home needs to turn into a world of chaos. I have watched friends have babies and their world did just that, turned to chaos. Laundry piled in the corners, dishes stacked high, the look of dishevelment on their face. People told me I would barely shower, chores would fall to the wayside…life would be chaos.
I just knew our life could not become chaos. I remember reading that statement and thinking, yes, someone agrees with me that I don’t have to lose my shit to continue surviving. The Husband and I are not people who can handle settling for chaos and no control. We are Type A, we don’t have it in us for loss of control.
Six months in and I want to say this, it is true, your world does not have to be chaos. If you are reading this as the new or expecting parent, I will tell you it is okay. A newborn does not need it to be chaos and neither does an infant. I have managed a shower everyday. The laundry gets put away, the dog hair vacuumed, the dishes washed and put away each night, the counters wiped down and half the time the bed gets made.
When Cora came we just had to learn to adjust. We take advantage of nap times and you know what, sometimes she has to just sit and entertain herself while the dishwasher gets unloaded or supper made. My Husband pitches in more and we have learned to work together a bit more efficiently.
Sure, there are weeks where it is harder than others and days where I collapse into bed, knowing I didn’t get it all done but 95% of the time, we are good. This week the dog has an inflamed pancreas and the Husband has influenza B. I’m on my own and I’m exhausted. Puking dog, vet visits, quarantined husband and all the Clorox in the world. This week, it has been chaos. Next week, we will get back to normal.
Sure, my sister lives with us to help but she has her own full-time job and has started dating (Oh my God the world of online dating!) She has a thing called life but is good help to wrangle Cora in jammies and read her a few stories while I change clothes.
Just like with anything else, it is what you make of it. There can be down days. Monday, I napped when she napped because sometimes Mommy needs a nap too. We have our days where she sits outside in the swing for an hour, watching the trees move in the wind, so I do too. And in all honesty, I don’t think babies prefer chaos anymore than adults do.
6 thoughts on “Controlling the Chaos”
Yes, I totally get this! I agree. I’m totally a type a personality and I cannot handle chaos in my house because it makes my mind feel chaotic.
And maybe things aren’t as “perfect” as they were before our son, most things still get put away. My son is happy to chill on the floor and practice rolling or playing with a toy while I empty the dishwasher or clean bottles. But, I will admit, I do appreciate the help of having cleaners who do the deep cleaning for me. 🙂
So glad you agree:) of course they won’t be perfect but our new version of perfect works too:)
I agree. We have two, and we manage to keep it together. Now it’s not perfect or deep cleaned very often, but we keep the laundry done and folded, kitchen clean and dishes done, and toys are put away when we’re done using them. I honestly think it’s more a personality thing, though. As a type A individual, the chaos doesn’t work well for me.
I do agree with the personal thing. I do have to remind myself, not even with kiddos, everyone is just different. I don’t know how someone can live in a messy world but they are cool with it. For us Type A people it just makes sense to go to bed with a clean house.
Eric has definitely been helping out a lot more, but with working full-time, I don’t want to spend my free time cleaning. The solution? Hired help. I outsource everything. In addition to our bi-weekly cleaners, I have a mothers helper who comes every other week to do the laundry, change, the sheets, etc. It has been an absolute game changer. Our house remains “relatively” clean, Eric and I don’t argue as much about the housework, and I get to enjoy my free time with my baby rather than do laundry. I feel very fortunate to be able to do so, but I would much prefer to cut back on work hours and do the work myself. One day!!
That is such an awesome way to go about it! When we were discussing how much I was going to work, a cleaning service was going to be a requirement if I went back full time. Everyone I talked to said it was worth it. Only working three days though I do feel like we are managing it all just fine with housework. I have never heard of a mothers helper! That is genius!