I sat with a friend recently while she vented/cried in my truck about her husband. They have been married for about five years and she works two jobs to be the primary bread-winner between the two of them. Her husband is an aspiring actor and they recently had to move back to the area because they have put themselves so far into debt while he has chased his dream.
I said what she wanted to say How much do you sacrifice for your significant others dream before you put your foot down? She is burnt out, they are in debt, and they don’t have anything on the horizon that looks like it would help. Sure, we all want to be the supportive spouse, we don’t want to be the one to kill their hopes and dreams. We hear the stories of how a person gets married and one person in the marriage feels like they missed out on something great because of the ole ball and chain.
What is realistic though? Where would her husband be without her? When do you say enough is enough? I honestly could say that if I was her I would be done too. I would have to have a come to Jesus meeting with my husband and suggest a different route. I mentioned to her that she needs to not say it is over for him but perhaps he needs to take a break and get a 9-5 job to help pay down the debt and re-evaluate at a later date, say, a year from now.
Could this kill a marriage? I’ve seen it before and my ex-husband’s job did us in. His choice in chasing a career meant sacrificing our marriage. There was no balance. I don’t think you should sacrifice everything to put yourself on an unstable road for an unrealistic dream. There are other hours in the day to chase our dreams, we just have to use them wisely.
4 thoughts on “How Much Should You Sacrifice?”
This is a huge one…where is that line? I think there has to be a line, absolutely does, on both sides. Both need to be happy, not just one, and too much sacrifice on either side, can be the end-all.
It is a huge one that comes up so often in marriage. I know every circumstance is different but it is so tough to watch!
I completely agree, because I have felt like I was in a similar kind of situation to a point. All of our struggles financially have been because of my husband’s career path and some days it takes a LOT to not get bitter. It’s gotten a lot better when he started a new job last fall, but before that, man oh man. I think it’s time for her to draw the line. Five years is plenty of time to chase a dream. And as she says, it’s not forever, but it’s a much needed break.
At least you had an end in site. You knew where it was all leading to where acting can be so…unstable…and it can make you bitter in a marriage no matter how good you are. Nothing wrong with taking a step back for a break.