Who to Share Our Secret With

The last week has been a roller coaster of emotions and discussions.  We are living in a cautious world with this new pregnancy information.  I have been in for blood work a couple of times to make sure that my hormone levels are continually going up.  So far, so good.  They are right on track to show me at five weeks, two days. (As of today)  It doesn’t look like multiples or an ectopic pregnancy but the reality is, anything can happen.  The next appointment for me is in a week and a half for an ultrasound.  Thus far I have felt fine aside from mild cramps last week and a few moments of feeling gaggy.

We are trying to remain positive and not get too excited which has proven to be much more difficult than what I thought.  I have heard way too many stories of someone finally getting pregnant only to have a miscarriage and quite frankly that scares the shit out of me.

It is easy to want to scream the news from the roof tops but we are realistic.  The Hubs and I made the decision to each pick one person to tell.  I chose a friend of mine who went through infertility as well and is now due in November.  She has been the closest sounding board for me through all of this.  Plus, she knew my schedule for everything so she was going to find out either way.  My Husband chose a friend of his who has been a big supporter as well.  Then there was the one random friend in the state of Wyoming who noticed me on Facebook, in a picture, on a boat with no rum in my hand.  Yep, that screams pregnant to this dear friend, who has also been a supporter on our journey.  Then after a rough yoga class and some tears I informed my yoga instructor.

As far as everyone else goes, they can wait a few weeks.  We are actually aiming for Labor Day weekend.  We like having our own little secret.  We are enjoying this moment on our own before the whole Calvary of Mom’s, Aunts, and so forth catch on to make us crazy.  Some people say to tell your family so they will be there to support you if something does go wrong but not all of them have been real supportive of our infertility in the first place.  It is in fact fairly easy since no one lives close to us.  Unless they notice no rum or wine in my pictures.  Clearly I like liked my rum and wine.

We are also waiting two more weeks to tell Rebecca, which has been pretty tough.  She was getting close to figuring it out over the weekend when she was with us.  Again, noticing my lack of wine.

Otherwise we are living our lives as normal as possible.  We go to work.  I go to yoga.  We boat.  I walk the dog.  We go to the lake.  We sit outside in the evenings grilling and discussing our days.  We just have a secret that we are hiding but as all secrets go, it will eventually come out.