Investing in our Marriage

Thirty days from today, the Hubs and I will board a plane, alone, and head to Jamaica.  We will leave behind our child for the first time and not just for a few days but for 6 nights and 7 days. My sister will be in charge of the baby and the dog.  Managing themselves to get to and from daycare and work.  Tackling a way to get everyone fed, bathed and to bed at a reasonable time.  Fingers crossed the baby will try sleeping through the night for her…..

I mean, my anxiety level over this is a bit high right now.

People have asked how I could possibly leave my child for that long for the first time.  Out of country, no less.  I bite my tongue.

Because what is waiting on that island is what I need right now.  What my husband needs right now is there.  What our marriage needs right now is there.  Nights where I can drink and not worry about how much.  I can pass out in bed and no worry about the baby monitor.  Not worry about when she will wake. I will not be tethered to her schedule but merely to my own.  I can eat as I please.  We can turn off our phones.  Unplug.  Someone else will make my bed and food.  We can have all the sex, whenever we want. Did I mention the sleep? Oh, and the warmth is an added bonus too.

Before baby arrived the Hubs and I always took Rebecca on one family vacation a year and then him and I took one tropical vaca a year.  We love to travel.  Cora has messed up that schedule a bit and we are determined to get back on schedule.  We need this time to invest in our marriage.  Sure, we could do that in a hotel room a few cities over for a night or two but that isn’t enough.  Life is going faster.  A baby kinda takes up space and time.  Sure, we do date nights but sometimes you need more than that to reconnect.

No, our marriage is not in trouble but as the winter has settled on us, we find ourselves not carving out as much time together.  There are no evenings on the back porch talking or long walks with the baby and dog to chat.  Instead we are huddled on the couch discussing schedules for the holidays.  Time slides, things slide, and we are two ships passing in the night as plow season has started as well.

So while people turn their noses up to our travel arrangements, we call it investing in our marriage.  Time away to unplug and focus on just us.  We are firm believers that the better our marriage is the better we are as parents.  We will miss our little one and I will worry about her endlessly but there is a beach, with a drink, and a lounge chair waiting for each of us.  Count me in.

What do you do to invest in your marriage?


16 thoughts on “Investing in our Marriage

  1. I am so impressed with you and your husband!! I don’t care what anyone says, investing in your marriage and each other is one of the most important things you can do for your little girl and yourselves!! Wishing you an amazingly warm and refreshing vacation!

  2. Agh! This post is like a wake up call for me. My marriage isn’t in trouble either, but it’s SO important to nurture the relationship that made you a parent! Thank you for sharing this. Enjoy your time with your hubby!! Looking forward to hearing about it. ❤

  3. I had 4 girls in quick succession after getting married. Getting away alone was the only thing that kept our romance and love so strong. We went away 3 weekends a year no matter what. Pumped and dumped so I could drink all the wine. Lots of uninterrupted sex and sleep…Now these same girls are 20plus and our friends always say we are the most “in love” of all the couples because we always made us a priority and not just the girls which it could have been. We are leaving New Year’s Eve for 11 days alone in Puerto Rico. The girls have some complaints about us leaving them but mostly they understand and love to see what a good relationship we have. You are smart to start now and keep up the tradition!!!

    1. Awh thanks for sharing. That is just awesome to hear. A marriage takes work and when you give it a little, then it gives you a lot in return and it shows! Enjoy your trip!

  4. Love the title of this post! So jealous, you guys will have a blast. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It’s important for mama and daddy to rekindle what brought the little bundle of joy into this world in the first place. I totally understand it will be hard for you, at least it sure would for me. But the time apart is good for both you and your baby. I know I sure could use some! My husband and I have done very little without our baby on board this last year. We need to invest some time together! Cheers to your trip!

  5. I am so impressed and also insanely jealous of you guys! Impressed because there are so many couples out there who, once kids are in the picture, let things really slide with their own relationship. Then, 18 years down the road when the kid leaves the home they realize that they don’t even love one another anymore and that the kid was holding them together. So it is insanely important to carve out that time for one another. You are lucky to have a sister you trust so much to leave Cora with so you can get that time together. It will be so, so, so nice to have those days and you will come back loving Cora even more! I want to come along too! lol. Have such a great time, and then post once you are home to tell all of us envious moms about it!!

    1. We have seen a lot of that in our friends as well….the whole we have a baby and now they are our ENTIRE lives. Just, no. She isn’t not our entire lives because at some point it WILL just be us again in our home and marriage while she moves on. We need to know what to do with each other:) haha!

  6. Good for you! I’m jealous. I told my husband what I wanted for Christmas was a little trip together, even if it was just the next town over. A tropical trip sounds heavenly though, for all the reasons listed (baby’s getting all four molars at once, so…you know…) Happy Vacation!

  7. AMEN my friend!! you do need this, everyone does, and especially those with kids, since you get even less time together alone naturally. I am so glad you guys are going. Wish we were too though!! xoxo

  8. I can’t believe anyone would give you crap for putting your marriage first! So so important. You two will have a blast!

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