Tag Archives: toddler

I hate bedtime with my child

19 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Kids, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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There I said it, I hate putting my child to bed.

Yes, it is true.  That magical time that parents talk about at the end of their day, I fucking hate it.  I know, I’m in the minority and some of you are sitting there thinking I have got to be the worst parent on earth.  I get why you might like it, I used to like it.  Past tense.

I also believe all problems in the middle east would be solved if we sent toddlers to negotiate with the terrorists.  Because seriously, the tactics these kids have ALL day and then it comes to bedtime and there is a whole other level of crazy and seriously, I’m all for world peace.

My toddler is a good kid. Seriously, as far as toddlers go, I can’t complain too often but every mamma has her limit and mine is at the end of the day.  It is at the end when I spent all day patiently repeating myself to the point I might as well have been talking to a rock.

Put your shoes on.  Put your shoes on.  Seriously, please put your shoes on.  Are you listening?  Did you hear me?  Put your shoes on. Fine, don’t wear shoes.

Eat dinner.  Take a bite of dinner.  Aren’t you hungry?  Eat your dinner.  Do not give it to the dog.  Do you want dinner? Fine, go to bed starving.

Go to the bathroom.  Go to the bathroom.  Go to the bathroom.  Dude, pee before bed.  Seriously, the bathroom, go there.  I will give you candy corn if you go pee.  FUCKING GO TO THE bathroom. Fine, pee the bed.

Lets get your pajamas on.  Put your pajamas on.  Can you please put your foot in.  No, it isn’t naked time.  No running. Get back here.  Put your pajamas on.  Fine, go to bed naked.

THE ENTIRE DAY goes this way.

So by the time we make it to her room and all things have been negotiated and she may or may not be dressed and may or may not be fed and I have run through all my patience…we sit down to read books.  She knows it is three books but has already began negotiations for 20.  As I read she demands food because she is now hungry even though five minutes prior she had half of a pop tart and crackers. (Thinking I’m ahead of the game)  We read three books and I turn off the light. She turns back on the light to get a Band-Aid because suddenly there is an owie.  Light back off.  Into bed to sing songs. She flails around, farts, demands she has to poop.  Into the bathroom.  Asks again for food. She evil laughs.  Back to bed.  Lights off.  Lights on for socks that we refused when we first came to the room.  Lights off.  Begin to sing songs.  She sings over my singing.  Demands I start from the beginning because she couldn’t hear me over herself.  Cover her up, she kicks them off.  Refuses hug till I make my way to door.  Always at the door, demands hug.  Hand on door knob.  Demands kiss.  Halfway out the door. Begins crying because Wade at daycare pushed her today.  She feels the need to discuss.  I make it out the door.  Turn on monitor.  She announces she needs covered up again.  As I head back out the door it is like she knows I’m going to break so she sweetly says “Gooooooodniiiiiiiight mamma I love you!” Evil laugh.

Nothing about that was fun.  Some have told me to just give in and enjoy it for she will grow up soon enough.  I find zero enjoyment in this.  I’m actually over it.  I give 100% all day and I just want her to go to bed.  Yes, that I love you at the end is fucking precious but I’m ready to go down and workout, to have my own time.  Selfish some may say? Sure.  But it is the cold hard truth.

Anyone else with me?

 

 

Last call for the binky

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Kids, Parenting, Toddler Life, Uncategorized

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There are some things, I think we can all agree as parents, that are hard to let go of.  For me, it was the binky.  Cora has been attached to that thing from day one. I remember the day at the hospital when she first took to it and I told my husband that it had to be gone by the time she was three.  That was my cut off date.

Fast forward to last March where we cut the binky time down to just naps and then just bedtime without any real issue.  Her turning three was still forever away, in October, so I didn’t think much of it.  Slowly though, that nighttime habit became well, annoying.  She didn’t need it, we all knew that but suddenly I was having a hard time cutting her off from it.  I wasn’t sure why. Actually I did know why, it was the last “baby” thing she had.

Cora has been fully potty trained for some time now.  She sleeps in her toddler bed.  Bottles were long gone years ago.  She has conversations.  We have been working on preschool workbooks and writing her name.  Hell, the kid can make her own waffle and is a pro at doing her own laundry. For a kiddo who hit all the milestones early and acts much older than she is, I was holding on to the last little piece of my baby.

So we had a talk, Cora and I.  The binky had to go and bribery was our plan. I took her to Target to pick out a new baby doll that she wanted and explained that it had to replace the bink.  She was on board.  We printed out a picture of the bribery, I mean, baby doll and stuck it to the fridge.  Three nights.  That is how long she had to go without bink and then we could head back to Target and pick up that new doll.  She did it with zero questions, complaints or whining.  Doll purchased, binkies in trash and we moved on with life all before that three year mark.

It was bittersweet for me. Non kiddo people look at me like I’m nuts but we all have our thing.  That kid went and grew up on me, so fast, just like they say they do.  I think part of me struggles with not knowing if we will have that chance to do it all again.  Do we even want to do it again? Who knows?

How did you end your binky habit?

 

Growing up overnight

03 Thursday May 2018

Posted by in Kids, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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When your child turns 1, a lot of people seem to think your child is all grown up.  I didn’t quite see Cora as all grown up by any means.  She was still my baby with a diaper butt and a binky in that chubby hand.  She turned two and I remember rocking her to sleep that birthday night thinking, it will all be very different soon.  I knew that soon she really would start growing up on me.  It took her until these past couple of weeks but man, my baby is gone and a full toddler is in front of me.

First it was my husband removing the rocking chair in her room.  We had to take it out to get the carpets cleaned and my husband thought we might just go ahead and leave it out.  No more rocking my baby, while reading books before bed.  I cried because I didn’t know the previous night was our last night to rock.  It hurt me more than her because she was excited to have a new reading nook with her own little chair.

At 14 months Cora started showing signs of potty training and we bought the potty, bribed with stickers and pretty much left it at that.  Some days she would be great all day and other days she would stick to her diaper.  We didn’t push.  Then a few weeks ago she decided panties were cool and diapers were not.  She is now potty trained aside from wearing a diaper at night, although those have been dry the past few nights so we might be done with that.  The changing pad and diaper pail was moved to storage, creating more space in her room.

Remember the great big girl bed fail? The weekend she decided she was done with diapers was the same weekend she asked for her big girl bed back.  (It is still her crib but with a toddler railing on the side that opens.)  Aside from falling out of it on a daily basis, we are having total success with it.  But seriously, this kid flips every which way allllll night long.

Just like that her room is changing from the nursery to a toddler’s room.  The last of the baby items are being tucked away and the house is filling with toddler everything.  It is bittersweet moment and seems to be happening all at once.  At the same time I can’t help but think, yep, we made it through that baby stage. Whew!

Learning Patience

04 Wednesday Apr 2018

Posted by in Kids, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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I think one of the main things a mother will say that her children taught her is patience.  I couldn’t agree with this more.  I have never spent so much time telling myself to stop, breathe, wait, and have patience.  This moment shall pass, we will get to where we are headed, don’t explode, give her a moment.

I have a pretty easy toddler but it doesn’t mean we don’t have our moments.  Our moments of trying to get out the door, of mamma just needing to pee, of dinner on the stove or cleaning needing to be accomplished.  She is hanging on a leg, asking me to sit and play with her, requiring a cup of water or a snack.

For the love of God child can you just please get in your car seat and not literally stop and smell the flowers along the way?

But then I remember she is still new to this world.  She doesn’t understand the rush, she needs a moment to have a tantrum because learning shoes is tough, she wants to stop me to discuss the poopy she did in the potty earlier in the day, she needs to inspect the flowers that spring is slowly trying to produce and is that a bug? Better follow it somewhere. All these things I quickly do myself, quickly glance at, shove feelings down to be dealt with later, and don’t give a second thought about.  She is discovering the world around her, learning and processing it all.

Therefore, she gives me patience.  She teaches me daily to take a step back, listen, feel, and pay attention to all the little details of life.  It is such a cliché what kids can do for us but a cliché that many of us take for granted. Even find down right annoying because dude I can’t fetch you a 4th blanket because the water is boiling over on the stove.

It isn’t always possible, but giving her the extra time and space has been a game changer.  The art of letting go a bit and letting her, not take charge, but lead at times, has taught me more than I thought it could.

What has your toddler taught you lately?

 

Big Girl Bed

22 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by in Kids, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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At 2 1/2 Cora is still in her crib.  We asked her pediatrician at her last appointment when she thought the best time to move her would be.  She said every kiddo is different and you’ll just know when it is time but a lot of kids are around the age of three or when a sibling comes along to kick them out.  Since the sibling thing isn’t true for us then we figured we would just let her tell us one day.  She has never made a move to climb out and really loves her crib so we just let it be.

We have occasionally asked her if she would like a big girl bed like her friends or her cousin and she always answered, no, I am fine with my crib.  We watched my nephew seamlessly go to a toddler bed a few months ago so we figured it would be simple when the day came.

Fast forward to our recent night of sleepless hell due to nightmares.  Top that with this weird habit she has with needing her feet perfectly covered at night.  Both things will wake her and Lord help me I’ll just assume I’m never sleeping through the night again.  Cora sleeps with 200 blankets but not a true comforter that fits her crib.  I got to thinking that maybe ordering her big girl bedding and transitioning her crib to the toddler stage would be a good idea.  Maybe it would solve some sort of problem.  Yes, I was reaching for anything.

So we ordered the bedding, made a big damn deal of it all, waited for the weekend and Daddy took down the front rail and put up the toddler railing.  Wonderful! She was pumped.  She talked about how she could get in and out of her crib by herself. She played in her room all day, taking her baby dolls in and out of her bed.  Then nap time rolled around.  Normally we stick her in her crib and that is that, she sleeps.  Not this time. Crying for an hour took place until I sat on the floor, in her room, and she finally fell asleep. Then bed time came around.  Bath, we read books, she talked excitedly about her big girl bed and then we laid her down and walked out.  Crying, tantrums, whining, pleading, negotiating, bribing, wine…..Three fucking hours later this child stood in the middle of her room and demanded that daddy put her crib railing back.  So 10:30 at night he put that thing back together and she fell asleep 3 minutes later.

Toddler-1

Parents-0

The next morning she asked to call daddy and the conversation went like this.  Daddy can you come home and put my big girl bed back up?

I can’t even with this kid.

We told her she has to wait two weeks before we try again.  I’ll let you know how that one goes.  On the positive side, the big girl bedding is a huge hit.

What is the game plan in your household for a crib to toddler bed transition?

The Great Binky Take Away

21 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by in Kids, Letting Go, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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Before we left for Aruba, the binky attachment was at an all time high.  We told Cora that when we returned, the binky was going to go bye-bye. We talked about how her friends don’t have binkies and she was a big girl now.  She basically gave zero shits about those reasoning’s and every time we face timed her from Aruba she waved around her binky, taunting us.

I will say, my husband was much more adamant about getting rid of it than I was.  I’m not sure why, it has just never stressed me out.  It wasn’t in her mouth 24/7 so it didn’t bother me.  Never the less we came back and operation take away binky was in full force, with zero plan of how to go about it.  We heard every plan in the book from other parents and all I knew was that cold turkey was not going to be our method.  We decided to narrow it back down to nap time and bedtime.  While there were some meltdowns, especially in the car, she was fine with it.  Within a couple of days she quit asking for it at nap time and completely didn’t have it at daycare.  Within one week we were down to just bedtime and that is where we currently stand.  There has been a few nights she forgot to ask for it and she went to bed without it.  She comes out every morning, sets it on the counter and goes about her day, never asking for it.

We are really at this point where I think she will just forget it one night and that will be that.  Why are we not pushing to just take away night binky? We are having some sleep issues again.  Mainly, nightmares. She goes to sleep fine each night and for naps.  It is the middle of the night when she wakes up screaming and I have to go in and cover her back up, rub her back for a few seconds and that is it.  If the binky helps get her back to sleep when we are doing this upwards of 5 times a night then I really don’t care if she still has it.  It is all about sanity.

How is operation not binky in your household?  I have to say, I thought the fight would have been stronger with her but I think giving her the heads up was the best plan.

These are the best days

20 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by in Kids, Marriage, My Family, Parenting, Toddler Life

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I remember when we were building our house, the day the carpet went in.  I was so excited to have carpet again as the place I had been living in was wall to wall wood floor, which gets old.  That night we went into the empty house, laid on the carpet, and watched Rebecca turn cartwheels, literally.  I was so excited to have a house, with soft carpet and the hubby and I talked about where we would put our first Christmas tree.  A random memory but one that stuck with me.

Fast forward to this past Friday night, laying on that same living room floor that was now layered with blankets.  Cora had the flu and our make shift floor bed seemed to be the best idea to handle all the puke.  She laid in between us, restlessly sleeping, so out of it, my husband snoring, the dog at our feet.  I was in and out of sleep waiting for the next round, staring at the lights on the Christmas tree, exactly where we said we would put it 4 1/2 years ago.  The house and world seemed perfectly dark and calm.

So much has happened, so much life in this house already.

Raising kids, I have had so many older people look at me, with nostalgia in their eyes, and say You are living the best days of your life.  Often my sleep deprived, busy, crazed self wonders how but for some reason, the other night, smelling of puke, I agreed.  These are the days we miss a family Christmas and watch movies on the couch with a toddler who normally never slows down.  These are the days that we pile next to the Christmas tree to sleep as a family.  These are the days that we determine who bathes the puke covered toddler and who scrubs down the puke covered crib while we laugh so we don’t cry.  All made even better when you finally sneak out as a couple, at the end of the long weekend, and catch those reservations for a nice dinner.  You sit down, take that first sip of wine, order a nice steak and your husband dashes to the bathroom because one of us had to be next for the flu.  It was all of these moments that forced me to pause a little bit and suddenly, I finally found a little bit of the holiday cheer I felt I had been missing this year. Can you imagine that is what it took?

These are all the moments that we will look back on and laugh.  The moments where you feel like you won’t make it to the end. The moments that keep you on the end of your rope.  But all these moments bring us closer together and continue our story as a family, as crazy as it may be.

I hope you are all finding your little moments and your holiday cheer, even if during the strangest times.

Second baby conversations

13 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by in adulthood, Baby, Having Faith, Infertility, Kids, Marriage, My Family, Parenting, The Husband, Toddler Life, TTC, Uncategorized

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I’ve made it pretty clear, here and in my real life, I have really not been up to the idea of a second baby.  I have never said never but I have certainly not been in the camp of wanting to go for a second.  I haven’t had that pull and I have certainly had my reasons.  However, my husband and I have kept the conversation open.  Sometimes it comes up more often than others but it is a rolling topic that evolves every time.

My husband has always wanted a second and not for the desire to just have a son, as so many assume.  He really does want a second child in general.  I’ve never closed the conversation off because I believe he has a say in our child total just as much as I do.  I don’t think it is a one-sided thing.  Sure, I am the primary parent, I have to carry/labor the baby, etc. but at the end of the day this is our marriage and family.  We believe that until both of us are happy with the solution we shouldn’t stop the conversation.

Recently we sat down and really dug into the possibility of a second child and it was me who started that conversation. I have realized that the repeated shelving of the conversation was giving me anxiety…the what if, the when, the undecided.  As a type A person I was ready to make a plan and my husband was open to options.

First and most importantly, I’m finally to the point with Cora that I can breathe a bit.  She might have been a difficult infant due to sleep and eating issues but I’m just going to go ahead and throw out she is a damn easy toddler.  We DO have our moments/days but life is so much easier now.  Go ahead and tell me that will bite me in the ass, I don’t care.  She is still well ahead of the game for her age, she listens, she sleeps, she naps, she is potty training, she no longer screams non-stop in the truck and she is so helpful around the house, in a fun way. So why would I want to ruin that, you ask? It is more about how I can finally picture fitting a baby in our life now.  I never could before because I felt like I was drowning in all of the no fucking sleep and screaming during every car ride because car seat!

I’ve also never wanted to rush Cora into growing up.  I just wanted to soak up as much of this time as possible and not ruin it with TTC issues. I wanted her, in a way, to be apart of the decision.  Some of you now think I have lost my mind but seriously. I wanted her to be old enough to understand what was going and you could say she does.  I can tell you I would be fine to tell her no fucking way if that was the decision but it really does help us out.  She has literally asked for me to have a baby, she makes me hold the new baby at daycare, she is totally fine with babies coming to our house, using her baby stuff, and her own mommy and daddy giving said baby attention. The kid has baby fever and so does her Daddy.  I don’t feel like I’m going to completely ruin her world if we had another child is what I’m saying.

Facts:  I’m 35 years old, I have known fertility issues, I have heart complications, and I am a high risk case.  I don’t want to say the clock is ticking but it is.  Does that mean I want to pull the goalie yet? No.  However, we decided to set a time, in the future, to pull said goalie.  We have allotted how much time we will be without a goalie before going into our fertility specialist.  We have also, again, discussed how far we will take the TTC road until we say no more, if we don’t get pregnant.  If that time in the future comes and I am not 100% ready then we will regroup.

I can’t explain to you how making this decision has helped ease my anxiety. Talking through these things with my husband, for literally two years now, has helped so much.  It doesn’t mean I still won’t be all over the board about this but it is all becoming a bit clearer for us.  I’m grateful to have a wonderful marriage and a great man by my side to work through this with.  At the end of the day our family is happy and healthy, which is the most important thing.